**This is not poetic, nor happy it’s also not a cry for help. It simply just is.
I’ve come to hate mornings
They leave me broken and tired
Recovering from my dance with the
There was a time when the dawn called my name
with a glorious song and colors flooded my world.
Now I find only pain and the relentless crush of this disease.
There are no words I can give you that truly explain the
persistence of Parkinson’s disease. It simply never stops.
Never let’s go. There are times that I want to just be done
be done fighting. Be done taking pills for pain and pills
to replace the chemicals my brain no longer makes.
There was a time when the mornings song was a gift
the predawn stillness, the first birds of the day.
Me and a strong espresso, dreaming of all the
things I’d fill my life with.
Now its a race, a race for the first pills of the day
a race to stay one step ahead of the pain. A race to
learn the tricks of he brain as my cognitive functions change.
as I sit here and write these words out of my head and heart
placing them in space instead of myself, I feel the sadness settle
in. This sadness tells me its time to go, it tells me I’ve
rested to long in this place of thought and self analyzing
deprecation. So I leave you with these thoughts from a
man who has been graced with a life full of adventure
love and heartbreak. Don’t wait for life to give you the
things you want. You must make them happen. You must visualize
yourself in the place you want to be and make it so. For tomorrow
never comes so must seize the day or forever let it slip away. The Long Road
Acrylics and Ink
2012 Parkinson’s Series
Such a gentle journey in the heart of kindness
flows all possibilities to the end of a long road less traveled.
Does your heart ache at the changing times
or do things of the coming past give you strength
to live a brighter day today and shine on for all to see.
I give you my heart in place of yours
Fear not these death lights dear one for they come in peace
to take your resting bones to place of holy.
Rest in the hearts of all who have loved you and always will.
Cry not for the passing and fill that space the pictures and
Dreams of the times gone by so that you may give that light
to all that continue on this earth.
Please take my strengths when you need it most
for I will borrow more the sun.
Please have my hand when the standing on ones legs become more to bear
than it ever has ever been.
Know that I am and will forever be for I always have and will always be
Good morning, afternoon and evening. I think I missed a day. How have you been? I havent missed a day since I don’t know when. Things have been shall we say out of control to say the least. We have two days until the movers come and I must admit I’m in a bit of a state of shock, we’ve gone from talking about this supposed property that we might come into, to having the deal fall through a couple of times. Me demanding for people not to talk about it around me because I’m a huge dreamer and if you give me the chance to dream I will and I’ll dream huge. To now.. Two days and the Main house will be 100% remodeled new paint,floors through out, trim and appliances come today so I’ll be at the Farm house most of the day simply hanging out.
During the course of this adventure I’ve managed to break two ribs, work myself to exhaustion more time than I care to admit and had some huge fights.I also somehow managed to win my category in the “Something Red” juried show, again a thing I totally don’t get. Last year I didn’t even get an honorable mention and this year I win? Dont get me wrong I’m not complaining, just shocked. And now here I sit not having panted in almost a month and its making me crazy. But I guess that’s what change does right? We’ve talked about it before, rebirth is never easy especially when it’s basically your entire life.Thanks for sticking with me, an Art blog with out art must be kind of boring especially since I’ve been forced to torture you guys with my words 😉 That being said lets take a look and see if we can stare at some paint for a moment. Maybe something old that we havent seen for a while.
Inspired by yes Paul Jackson Pollock, this piece was done on paper using inks, oils, acrylics, gouache and anything else I could get my hands on. I was only 17 years old at the time but still this is one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever done, at least in this style. Funny thing is I’m not a huge fan of using this style. Most of my fascination with Pollock comes from the person he was and his views on art and paint itself.
Picasso, Miro and Dali being some of the other painters that have inspired me over the years, again not so much because of their paintings but because of who they were as humans and their unique view on art and paint. But I must admit im kind of fan boy when it comes to Picasso and I could and have spent hours staring at Dali work. One of the quotes Picasso is known for saying that I really appreciate is “Good painters copy, “great painters steal” and maybe its Artist instead of painters but I’m not to worried as I’m stealing his quote anyhow. 😉 For I to believe it’s not about being able to copy another work as it is the ability to embody the essence of the artist and make it your own. Therefore “stealing” and not copying.
Sabbia “woman at the beach”**Also one of the only neutral color tone pieces I’ve done.
Pi~Guy and the Cowboy
“Pi-Guy and the Cowboy”This piece tells a story of a symbiotic relationship based on mutual need and self-preservation.
again it’s not about copying the artist, as just about anyone can produce a painting like this, in fact many artist have copied Picasso. But not many can embody the master and make his style their own.
Wow so I just realized I’ve been rambling Sorry, I miss my studio and I miss talking about art. OKay just to finish the ramble on art lets look just briefly at a couple more pieces and then I promise I’ll wrap it up.
A Miro inspired commission piece now living in the Mid-West.
And a Dali inspired piece, staying in my private collection.
Any how thanks for letting me sit and chat for a bit. I’ll be out at the Farm house waiting for appliances to show up and possibly working on getting the studio set up. I’ve been letting the construction guys use the space as a prep area for the rest of the house but after appliances come there isn’t really a direct need for people to come bouncing through my space. Okay its time for me to start my day. Something very rare happened last night….I slept,!!! yes really the whole night. Well from 10p-3a and for me that’s a lot of continuous sleep. I hope you have a great day and that the world treats you kindly and you it.
Much Love and Light
One of the things I’ve been dreading about the upcoming move is going through the boxes from my late father who passed aways very suddenly 05/30/2007 a day before my 37th birthday. During the course of my morning which started at 2am pst this morning 12/4/13 I found some very interesting files buried in one of the many boxes I’ve had the displeasure of going through today. It comes with mixed emotions that I share these things with you today. As complex as my relationship with my father was he and I share one very similar trait, we are (were) very sentimental, keeping notes and bits of paper from histories past as mementoes of things gone by. Pretty normal I imagine. While going through these boxes I found a file with my name on it thinking it would be report cards or kid related doctors stuff, I took a deep breath and opened said file. Much to my surprise it held only one envelope with my late grandmothers hand writing. In 1996 she submitted one of my poems to a national poetry contest. I didn’t know anything about it until I received an acceptance letter from the National Library of Congress stating that my piece published in an anthology book of poetry. Still to this day I’ve never seen the book itself but with the letter I found this morning I’ll be able to start narrowing down the possibilities. The following is that poem, written in 1983 when I was 13 years old.
Throwing stones through a glass room to the tune of deaf ears Cast away by a blind man with the temperance of steel and a heart like coal Do you understand his pain? Woe.. Do the hearts of the persecuted cry for the day of their release. A silent black death to take the place of the pain inflicted by their captures. I cry a blood stained tear for the meek and unwilling. I cry for you.
Benjamin M Prewitt 1983
Its been so long since ive thought about this piece, I can’t remember a time in my life ever that there wasnt conflict, small moments in time where things were smooth but it never seemed to last long. I guess things havent changed much in that respect. Maybe its due to my passion or my view of the world. Maybe its a reaction to the things I see and have always seen in humankind. Today should be a day a great joy. It’s the day of the Something Red reception and the downtown Salem Oregon Art Walk yet I’m wrought with conflict of the heart and mind. I often wonder if this is the curse of an artist and those impassioned beyond the “normal” or if by some way or some thing I’m just eternally broken. Cursed by the heavens to carry a cross that is not my own.
I hope the day is kind to all of you and you find in your hearts to love. That you find the courage, strength and hope you need to live your lives to the fullest without the burden I feel every waking moment of life.
Be Brave Be Bold and Thrive in the Life you have… and I will try to do the same.
Benjamin M Prewitt
1970-current a work in progress.
I miss you Dad where ever you are.
** photo taken Dec 1971, I was one year old. The painting behind him was one of his own and something I remember vividly.
Good morning\Afternoon and evening, I hope the day has found you well, first off from deep in my heart I’d like to thank many of you for your lovely well wishes. This time of great change I must admit has caught me off guard a bit. I cherish change it keeps life fresh and new. It is the life blood of the future. Yet this time of change id new for me as I’ve never experienced great change with PD. Though my onset of Parkinson’s disease was rapid and honestly pretty brutal compared to the stories I’ve read from others with PD. I’ve only had PD for a little over two years. So there are many things in life I’ve yet to experience with my new-found friend. Moving being one of them and doing so in such a grand manner has been one of the toughest things I’ve done regardless of PD. I suppose hurting myself in a very painful fashion practically on day one hasn’t made things any easier. But I’m a fighter, I am that tree that will soak up the suns warmth from whatever direction it comes and save it for a rainy day. The tricky thing about this move is my body is missing some key indicators of when its time to be done. I suffer from peripheral neuropathy to the extent that I have little to no physical sensation in my hands, arms and legs.
So while your body will tell you “hey” you just hurt yourself or cut your leg ect.. I don’t feel those things the way most do. So when I do finally feel the pain it’s from a completely different source and sadly one that doesn’t know how to get that information correctly to the places it needs to go, My brain. O.o
I’ve talked with doctors as of late about ways to fight this but it seems their answer is to just kill the nerve completely, for instance I have a nerve knot in my foot that sends shocks up my leg from my big toe to my calf. It basically feels like liquid fire being poured up the nerve. Sciences answer to that was a quick injection of “your dead” of which I declined. Id rather feel the pain than never feel again. As for my ribs they will heal, anyone who has ever broken multiple ribs know exactly what im talking about. You go to the doctor in excruciating pain and they say hmm, it looks like you’ve broken or bruised your ribs, here’s a pain pill and a wrap, see you in six weeks, if it hurts too much, sorry don’t hurt your ribs. Anyhow I digress, as the title may suggest im going to be taking a day off,… Kind of, maybe… A little, First the boy and I are going to get our hair cut, for those of you who know me well it is an act of cleansing as well as a “looks” thing. My hair now is way to long for my liking. Today is also the “Something Red” art submission day so I need to go do that. I also have a print I need to pick up at the frame store and get that ready to ship out. Which reminds me I am getting close to capacity on some of the print’s, some of you may not know but I will be not make more than 20 of any print. I really didn’t want to make prints to begin with but as requested and suggested by many of you I decided to go ahead and do so.
So as I sit here a ramble away as I often do, the day is slipping away, Thank you all again for your opinion on the “Something Red” submissions and Truly, Truly thank you for your kind words. People often ask or state ” I don’t know how you manage or carry on” well its simple im a stubborn Irish bastard 😉 and simply from the kindness and strength gifted by others. Enough ramblings lets look at some Art for just a small moment in time.
As I lay me down to sleep
Autumns Passing 24″x36″ Mixed media
The above paintings mark the most recent work completed, “As I lay me down to sleep”, ” Autumns Passing and “Horizons” all done within the past 30 days or so. I guess I can keep my title as a painter. I just feel shameful as I have a head bursting with images just clamoring to get out. Soon enough right? Soon I will have a “working” studio that friends and patrons may come visit with me at, It HAS A WINDOW!!!! which for those who know is kind of a running joke. Not only am I red-green color blind but I practically paint in the dark with my one “shop light” glaring down at me. Right I coud just sit here all day a chat. which is really what I’d like to do but I must go.