Lost and Found

One of the things I’ve been dreading about the upcoming move is going through the boxes from my late father who passed aways very suddenly 05/30/2007 a day before my 37th birthday. During the course of my morning which started at 2am pst this morning 12/4/13 I found some very interesting files buried in one of the many boxes I’ve had the displeasure of going through today.
It comes with mixed emotions that I share these things with you today. As complex as my relationship with my father was he and I share one very similar trait, we are (were) very sentimental, keeping notes and bits of paper from histories past as mementoes of things gone by. Pretty normal I imagine. While going through these boxes I found a file with my name on it thinking it would be report cards or kid related doctors stuff, I took a deep breath and opened said file. Much to my surprise it held only one envelope with my late grandmothers hand writing. In 1996 she submitted one of my poems to a national poetry contest. I didn’t know anything about it until I received an acceptance letter from the National Library of Congress stating that my piece published in an anthology book of poetry. Still to this day I’ve never seen the book itself but with the letter I found this morning I’ll be able to start narrowing down the possibilities. The following is that poem, written in 1983 when I was 13 years old.

THROWING STONES

Throwing stones through a glass room
to the tune of deaf ears
Cast away by a blind man
 with the temperance of steel
and a heart like coal
Do you understand his pain?
Woe..
Do the hearts of the persecuted cry
for the day of their release.
A silent black death
to take the place of the pain
inflicted by their captures.
I cry a blood stained tear
for the meek
and unwilling.
I cry for you.

Benjamin M Prewitt
1983

Its been so long since ive thought about this piece, I can’t remember a time in my life ever that there wasnt conflict, small moments in time where things were smooth but it never seemed to last long. I guess things havent changed much in that respect. Maybe its due to my passion or my view of the world. Maybe its a reaction to the things I see and have always seen in humankind. Today should be a day a great joy. It’s the day of the Something Red reception and the downtown Salem Oregon Art Walk yet I’m wrought with conflict of the heart and mind. I often wonder if this is the curse of an artist and those impassioned beyond the “normal” or if by some way or some thing I’m just eternally broken. Cursed by the heavens to carry a cross that is not my own.

I hope the day is kind to all of you and you find in your hearts to love. That you find the courage, strength and hope you need to live your lives to the fullest without the burden I feel every waking moment of life.

Be Brave Be Bold and Thrive in the Life you have… and I will try to do the same.

Benjamin M Prewitt

1970-current
a work in progress.

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I miss you Dad where ever you are.
** photo taken Dec 1971, I was one year old. The painting behind him was one of his own and something I remember vividly.

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A day off…

Good morning\Afternoon and evening, I hope the day has found you well, first off from deep in my heart I’d like to thank many of you for your lovely well wishes. This time of great change I must admit has caught me off guard a bit. I cherish change it keeps life fresh and new. It is the life blood of the future. Yet this time of change id new for me as I’ve never experienced great change with PD. Though my onset of Parkinson’s disease was rapid and honestly pretty brutal compared to the stories I’ve read from others with PD. I’ve only had PD for a little over two years. So there are many things in life I’ve yet to experience with my new-found friend. Moving being one of them and doing so in such a grand manner has been one of the toughest things I’ve done regardless of PD. I suppose hurting myself in a very painful fashion practically on day one hasn’t made things any easier. But I’m a fighter, I am that tree that will soak up the suns warmth from whatever direction it comes and save it for a rainy day. The tricky thing about this move is my body is missing some key indicators of when its time to be done. I suffer from peripheral neuropathy to the extent that I have little to no physical sensation in my hands, arms and legs.
So while your body will tell you “hey” you just hurt yourself or cut your leg ect.. I don’t feel those things the way most do. So when I do finally feel the pain it’s from a completely different source and sadly one that doesn’t know how to get that information correctly to the places it needs to go, My brain. O.o
I’ve talked with doctors as of late about ways to fight this but it seems their answer is to just kill the nerve completely, for instance I have a nerve knot in my foot that sends shocks up my leg from my big toe to my calf. It basically feels like liquid fire being poured up the nerve. Sciences answer to that was a quick injection of “your dead” of which I declined. Id rather feel the pain than never feel again. As for my ribs they will heal, anyone who has ever broken multiple ribs know exactly what im talking about. You go to the doctor in excruciating pain and they say hmm, it looks like you’ve broken or bruised your ribs, here’s a pain pill and a wrap, see you in six weeks, if it hurts too much, sorry don’t hurt your ribs. Anyhow I digress, as the title may suggest im going to be taking a day off,… Kind of, maybe… A little, First the boy and I are going to get our hair cut, for those of you who know me well it is an act of cleansing as well as a “looks” thing. My hair now is way to long for my liking. Today is also the “Something Red” art submission day so I need to go do that. I also have a print I need to pick up at the frame store and get that ready to ship out. Which reminds me I am getting close to capacity on some of the print’s, some of you may not know but I will be not make more than 20 of any print. I really didn’t want to make prints to begin with but as requested and suggested by many of you I decided to go ahead and do so.
So as I sit here a ramble away as I often do, the day is slipping away, Thank you all again for your opinion on the “Something Red” submissions and Truly, Truly thank you for your kind words. People often ask or state ” I don’t know how you manage or carry on” well its simple im a stubborn Irish bastard 😉 and simply from the kindness and strength gifted by others. Enough ramblings lets look at some Art for just a small moment in time.

As I lay me down to sleep

As I lay me down to sleep

Autumns Passing 24"x36" Mixed media SOLD

Autumns Passing
24″x36″
Mixed media

Horizons

Horizons

The above paintings mark the most recent work completed, “As I lay me down to sleep”, ” Autumns Passing and “Horizons” all done within the past 30 days or so. I guess I can keep my title as a painter. I just feel shameful as I have a head bursting with images just clamoring to get out. Soon enough right? Soon I will have a “working” studio that friends and patrons may come visit with me at, It HAS A WINDOW!!!! which for those who know is kind of a running joke. Not only am I red-green color blind but I practically paint in the dark with my one “shop light” glaring down at me. Right I coud just sit here all day a chat. which is really what I’d like to do but I must go.

Much Love
Namaste
Benjamin
2013

The Last Pumpkin…

It’s quiet tonight, the kind of quiet
that makes you wonder what everybody’s doing.
Only the distant hum of cars far away. People blissfully unaware
of the calm and quiet of the night.
It’s to cold for the crickets
and I fear this time of year
for my frozen frogs.
The bats have all gone home for the winter and the small birds
hide from the hawks durning the day.
Tonight’s quiet
more quiet than normal….
I like it this way….

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Don’t go in the dark door…..
You never know just what’s in store
Behind the dark door……

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One might find grapes of wrath
Or mayhaps devine wine…. Any how or way it be, I think it’s time to….

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Leave………..
😉

B~xx
2013
*Con tutto il mio cuore che ti do tutto ciò che sono.
Semplicemente un uomo con qualche vernice e una parola o due troppi.

Thing I see and how I see them

It’s been quite a while since I’ve done one of these posts. Just after my diagnosis on one if my short term leaves. I started walking every morning in our down town area. I enjoy the town and it’s store fronts but I’m not a fan of the hustle and bustle. Not only is it good exercise to keep my joints mobile as the pd puts it’s strangle hold on me but being red green color blind and just simply having a creative mind I tend to see things highly different than most people I’ve found. I often have used nature as an inspiration in my textural techniques be they cracks in the ground or gnarled branches, stout trees or brilliant colored leaves. Below you will find photos that have been manipulated in a way that I hope gives you an idea of what I see was the literal flood of images race across my mind when I see these things on my walk.

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Beauty in its many forms

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There is always a way out

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I love fall

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Worried, tense, pit of the stomach kind of grief.

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So many flowers 😉

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The lonely tree
This tree and I had a moment, yes I talk to trees, don’t you? Bugs, animals, the wind and rocks…. Is that wrong of me?
I just want them to know that at least some of us (humans) haven’t forgotten that all living things have a voice and it’s man that has forgotten how to speak and listen to the world and not the other way around.
Any how, thanks for walking with me today. As always it was lovely to see you and have you by my side.
With much love and respect.
Benjamin
2013.

Dark words for birds and butterflies.

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Such lucid dreams for a madman
calls.
Sleepless knights and wandering halls.
Does the day really care for your name?
Or has it left you just the same
Another poet, pauper or prince
within this space our words do mince
of liquid love and darkest nights
ballyhoo and midnight fights.
What calls these cannons ringing blare
days of yore without a care
Charles, Andy, Jean and I doesnt
matter all will die.
What razors edge will cut the poets tongue
and bind the painters wrists as the
gilded non common corpus judge
from chairs to high to truly see
what passion lives in the depths of
me

20130822-062332.jpgBenjamin

2013