Be brave , be bold and thrive in you life. I don’t know where you are or. How to get ahold of you. So I’ll leave this here each year I’m alive so you know that I never stopped caring and I didn’t walk away. I was asked to leave so I honored what was asked of me as I’d always done. Anyhow I love you,I miss you and wherever you are I hope you are happy and you know how much I miss and love both you and your sister dearly. Please know I am here and I will always be here for you, when you’re ready to talk.
If this is a dream do not wake me for I have found heaven in the heart of this darkness. In the hardest of times I gave it all up. I had somehow become unworthy of love and happiness as it had been known to me. I had become more, or maybe less than I was as a man. Either way when the dust settled I was alone, barren of the seed and fruits of my life long labor. All my memories dashed upon the rocks of a misguided future and worst still,there were monsters waiting at home to devour what was left .
You didn’t leave a stone unturned this universe of God and mankind. I , you have deconstructed this human beast into a diffrent creation, something of joy and beauty, sadly cursed with the passion of a thousand men the heart of a lion, the soul of saint, tongue of the devil and hand of a hero.
I come to you on bended knee take me as I am. Take me for me and I’ll give you all that I be.. I have nothing and everything to give,.the only thing left is me.
Today I can to a place where I can could see clearly.
All my life I’ve been a giver. Over the years it’s worn me down.
I didn’t realize it but it has. I’ve let my behavior bring me to this loathsome place.
Today I realized that I can do things just for me.
I can take a pottery class.
I can with the right help do and become anything
I am enough…. I am enough for me…
And I am important.. Simply because I am.
I don’t need to fix every person and every problem
I AM FREE
I AM LOVED
I AM KIND
I AM HONEST
I AM LOYAL
I AM ME
Not out of greed, but out of selfcare. The world has shown me recently that when a person you trust suddenly starts accusing you of something that you have no idea about… That’s the time to turn and run.. I’ve spent a lifetime watching others and projecting my insecurities on others then wondering why they left. I’ve grown, I can see these things now in others and myself. I am thankful for this life.
When I think of you you my heart breaks with joy amd sadness all at once. To have had the chance to bathe in your beauty forever and have lost that chance have left me a changed man. Every butterfly deserve a chance at freedom and every Raven a branch to perch. Mhlyh always and forever.
Writing because it kills the heartache of reality.