Be brave , be bold and thrive in you life. I don’t know where you are or. How to get ahold of you. So I’ll leave this here each year I’m alive so you know that I never stopped caring and I didn’t walk away. I was asked to leave so I honored what was asked of me as I’d always done. Anyhow I love you,I miss you and wherever you are I hope you are happy and you know how much I miss and love both you and your sister dearly. Please know I am here and I will always be here for you, when you’re ready to talk.
I’m being kicked out of the house in Bisbee Arizona by my would be caregiver. She’s given me zero notice to move ALL OF MY BELONGINGS FROM HER HOME. I’m in shock and not sure how to proceed. My true friends in Salem and Portland have rallied behind me and provided me with a ticket home on Friday the 28th. I’ll be staying in Silverton Oregon with a fellow cancer buddy and his wife until I move out to th farm house in Sheridan Oregon. If anyone feels generous and wishes to help, please find my PayPal link. I’m at a loss for words. I thought we were working through the transition but I was wrong. Greatly apparently I’ve been triggering miss Paula The entire time we’ve been back in Bisbee Arizona. Despite a great weekend and last week. She suffers from PTSD and apparently I’ve been “that guy” so it’s time for me to go. Very scared, very insecure. I’ve never been so far away and had someone be so unfortunately cruel. Simply blows my mind. Because even if I hated you I would still treat a person better than I’m being treated. Fuck I even gave my last bad caregiver a month to have her things. Me I e been given less than 24 hrs to move stuff it took me 10 days to pack. Abuse if the disabled and if anyone is a mandatory reporter then here you go. Abuse of the disabled at it’s finest. I thought things were fine. Stressful but moving forward… I was wrong and sadly will be paying with my very life force. Why you ask so serious????? I have Parkisons disease and for those of you who don’t understand how actually serious this is I’m sorry for you, it must be hard and very confusing to watch me go through this. And all the bullshit Parkisons disease has put me through.
Please pray I make it home safely. My house in Salem is no longer mine and I’ll be staying with friends until I can get a real caregiver and place for me to grow old in. I love and miss you all dearly. I know you have your own troubles, life isn’t just punishing me I know. To all of you who have been through this I’m sorry for your trouble. I’ve never been or felt so fucked over in my life this is a while new level of human filth and disconnection for me. I never knew ppl.coukd be so cruel.
Goodbye for now. If the good Lord and mother EarthGia grant me life and strength to continue then I shall. If not. I love you all so much and thank you for seeing this far. I have no son(he lives,but not with any contact with me) or family to go home to and a small number of friends who understand my heart is good and never would do harm. But it’s time for me to find a place to rest, to paint and cry for a long time. I’ve been fooled by people more broken by me for the last Time. My good heart is broken now. I don’t trust in God,in man or woman alike. My feels have been smashed for th last time. I can no longer trust my own judgement and I seem to keep trusting the wrong people. I’ll be back in Oregon on Friday th 28th 5 something pm in PDX
My heart is done. My love for life is fading and I live in physical and mental pain every single day. Pain lvl 7-8 but modern science only wants me to take narcotics. I refuse to!!!! Mmj or nothing. Anyhow that not related. Wish me luck and I hope that I can see you on the other side of this.
Goodbye for now.
Benjamin M Prewitt.
PS. If my mom or I can x family read this now is to to step up if you ever really cared for me.
And I wept with the Moon for I knew she was no longer mine… Each moment slipping further into night as dawn chased her away… I begged, pleading to the Moon for love is like begging the Sun for Mercy. Her Fire and Passion consume all who dare taste her flame. Yet still I weep as the wheels turn and my heart grinds to a bitter end. So now I tuck in this heart and shaking hands. Bare no more witness to my heart and soul. For sleep, sweet sleep has replaced your name on my tongue and weary heart. Goodnightmoon
#iwritestuff #abstractexpressionism #pnwartist #strongerthanyouknow #missingyou