Et tu Brutî

On this darkest day oh hollow man shed this wanten skin….Bleed no more for these these things

That cause pause to a soldiers heart.
Such fragile breath on angels wings
Bared ones heart to scissored strings.

Never more shall I go into the darkness alone.
Never more shall I throw stones,,In glass houses.
Never more shall I sing of things to the tune of a def ear and blinded eye.

Silent such voided love and fill this cup with pain and paint.
Fill this vessel oh world of wonder for this knight grows long in the hall of unrequited love..
Born of mystery and misery…. Of healing want in one hand and a lovers whip in another..

Fly…fly away with the birds and the bees. 
Flowers and trees for these things have no place in this heart of darkness.

These halls are mine.. And mine alone…
Cursed to wander for a thousand , thousand years…
Alone…me and these words…. Me and this paint that grows…

Alone…. or iam i destined to this life? id there a queen fit for my fits and delusions, these sharks and quakes that bury my mind and heart. For the one that heald my hand for better or for worse cast me aside and the beauty queen who said she’d stay lost her way.

Do you dare hold the hand of dying mad man? To watch as the chaos closes my eyes and blinds my mind for the final time here in chapter three of me…..?
the end.
post words:
words of fear and love spilled blindly these days as hope for a dream in dream that will take home once again for my sword and sheild have grown tired of the fight. I trade these tools of destruction and madness for hoe and shovel,All ove ever wanted is to come home….to plant a garden a fill it with love, art and the reminder that this world is heaven on earth. Someone just forget to us the right story.


catching words as fall before my eyes, some big. Some small. All for you.

I  ran with love in my hand like a child unaware to keep the sharp point facing down.I slept with angels and played the Devils and danced beneath the pail moonlight. Just to say I’d kissed the devil and lived to tell.

I trusted full and completely for lies were nothing but rumors and things bad boys did. Thinking I was righteous I won every single fight. Saved every process I met and walked round 

Before I knew I was something….. But know I can’t remember. What it was, I’d fought for to long let me charges side to to many years.

Things slipped through my fingers and splash upon the floor,memories that makes stop and linger for a moments time stop. Memories so real they yank the tears from my heart. A stillness came as the chaos washed me clean and there I lay, torn and broken from a childhood of dreams left tortured and abandoned by love and misguided dreams.

Didn’t they ever tell not to tell a lost boy you love him.? For are we not the stewards of love? Are we not the protectors of the small,weak and the uncared for? This love of love has left me split, broken with the desire to love and care. The desire to take all of your problems away and show you the life one can lead free of care of man kinds worry and loss.

I, I am here. Ready, waiting……..

“a life in progress.”




Good morning sunshine :Stories from the Great Train.

There was no tunnel
There was no light
Only darkness
I waited like you said
No light ever came
It didn’t get easier, for that is how I’m made.
My job to feel, my mission to protect mine, yours.
Theirs it didn’t matter.
My job is to serve, protect, provide and guide.
Or so I thought……
Then the great train came and took me away.
I road for hours, that turned into days that stretched for a thousand, thousand life times.
Is saw.
The horror of human kind,
mothers that left their babies roadside to die, with notes that smelled of flowers and the fathers that stood by and watched.
Sin eaters that bellies shrank as their pockets grew fat with greed.
All the while I walked because I was told to.
Keep moving forward”
the sign in my head said. So I did, with no question and pride. I moved on through he, she , me and we and I kept moving until the darkness grew deep……….
So deep I fact it stopped me….
The darkness had found me…

This time it wasn’t letting go. I cried and I tried and watched as we died. But the darkness would not could move for it was mine to stay.
Until I myself asked it to go away.
Then on the darkest of day on the coolest of Summer’s nights you came to me. Turned on the brightest of light this dog dog could ever see. A machine of living proof dressed in the elegant shades of grey. Adorned it Silver and black.
You carried the light for with I seek a reason to rise again a reason to speak. The better parts of me know that I can truly see. The darkness wasn’t you….
It was always simply a part of me.

The end.
“A life in progress”
**Stories from the Great Train


Midnight music and words 8/18

Into the night I’ve cast a song of love and loss a thousand time for a thousand souls.
Tonight the crickets came and sang once again their song of change
And love.
A tunes sung and heard only by those who have know love and know loss.
Tonight a white dove sailed the skies with my crows and I cried and wept like a child as the tears of remembrance came in waves.

I could listen to the stories we tell a thousand times yet I feel we’ve yet touch to the surface of the great depth of freedom from a spiritual hell created by a thousands of years of healing the dead, loving the loveless and holding mirrors for blind princesses.

In the wake of your presences I create and think. Charge myself for another day of challenge and fortitude.
Though now I know that the path is not as I sought but is what I seek.

can I tell you a secret you already know.
Your words have power for making things grow as fast as the seeds of knowledge can sow.
My love you must feed the children with all of your thoughts and all of your graces
For these are the humans that will carry our faces.
Then came the light, the spark and fire that drove me stop these thoughts of desire.
For I have been shown what the way is to be. That joy is the butterfly named after me. My job is to catch her and then set her free as good mothers and fathers always should be.
The end.

“A life in progress”



Escorts and Ascots~

If I gave you my heart would you tare it apart? Could you, would you know what to do with a love so tender and true.From this I have seen and what could it mean that our actions speak louder than words. Or shall it be said that whispers in bed fall upon deaf ears by daylights dawn.

A pawn I’ll not be for if I’m set free then that will be that and the last of me you’ll see.

For a fool I am not nor do I ask of a lot

Just simply to be held in your heart.
You hide behind your broken wings taking only what you want when you need it.

Leaving a wake a hurt and confusion in your path.

All in the name of reclamation of self 

All in the name of I can and me first.

Sadly when the dust settles I’ll be gone

And you’ll have missed out on the joy and happiness 

I had to share, the undying love and need to nurture and care for you

To build you up and carry you when you were weak

That will all be gone as you’ve left me in the ashes 

and broken pieces you left behind 


Originally written 6/5/15

Rewritten 5/24/16