Current mood

His is me walking away. Away from negotive people, people who bring unwanted anger and lack of motivation to be a better human. To the people who judge me and put me in a box rather than look at their own actions. I’m so disappointed in people right now. My ex srr says I’m sorry for your next wife.. LoL. Whay? I guess being. Adorded and pampered every day must suck. She’s just pissed because I held her accountable for her action never matching her words. Which you’d think by the age of 30 she’d know better, but hey to each their own. Ineed a reliable person to be my partner not some millennial who thinks just showing up get you a prize. I’m so over all of this relationship crap. I’m a kind loving person. I always have been and I actively through my actions show people daily that it’s true. I’m sick of people say shit about me. You don’t know me and if you do then you know it takes a lot of hurt for me to lash out. It takes me feeling boxed Into a cornered and feeling abused before I speak up these days.

So thank you to all the people who have stood with me over the years the people who have watched life tear me to shreds to the people who have seen me daily try to overcome the obstacles life has given me. To those people thank you for seeing the man behind this broken shell and wounded heart.

To those of you who left my side. Thank you for your part in my journey if you were a part of it I must have loved you dearly, I hope you are well and enjoying the life you’ve chosen.




Thank you and goodnight

It’s been 5 years since my diagnosis and 5 years of living hell. It took my wife, my children, my career and my self worth all in one swift day. Well I’m done.
“Expressions of my life” is done. I’ll still do paintings on commission and possibly show but I feel that this blog has caused me more hurt than good. I tried to reach out and became so swept up by everything social media that I lost myself. To be honest when I look at myself I feel sick and worthless and there isn’t anything Else I can say. I’ve been judged at every turn of this fucking life and I’m tired. Right now I’m at risk of losing everything. My past, my present and my future and its fucking killing me. I can’t go on like this anymore. I’ll leave this up for 12 hrs then as the French say.

Benjamin M Prewitt
“A wasted life”