All the things

I sure wish I could talk to you. To tell the other side of the story. To tell of what things were through my eyes and my heart. You know I never wanted to leave , I never wanted to get sick or get so very lost when I did. I know ppl that I had all kinds of support but in reality I had very little. My social worker and her family brought me firewood and food during the holidays that year of Cancer and betrayal. During the divorce which I didn’t ask for. Did you I tried to for us to see a counselor but sadly I was the only one interested in going. I watched in literal panic or horrors as my life was quickly stripped away. My kids, my home, my career. Everything is ever been , everything is ever worked for and all the time away from home spent earning the money and supporting the lifestyle our family wanted and was accustom to. Please remember as you read this that I’ve been told at every door to go away. I’ve tried to find you and reach out at every address. Bella won’t return my message, your mother told that if ever tired to find you at her home that I’d be removed and I have no address,phone or email for you. As your mother so eloquently stated

“He’s a grown man now and if he wanted to talk to you he would.” I guess I have to accept that that’s what you want, because she’s right. I’ve been at the same address for years now and had the same email and phone for even longer. I love you my boy and Bella tooi hope that world hasn’t been to cruel and that you’ve thrived in the you’ve done. I miss you more than you could ever possibly know unless you’ve kids of your own. Honestly I would never wish the kind of pain and disconnection that I’ve experienced in this life ever on anyone. I hope to see again before I leave this Earth but that ball is your court as I’ve exhausted all the resources I have. Please bring being your Father was the best experience in my life. I love you dearly my children, my son and step daughter. Thank you for the opportunity in this life.

Much love, Dad. Benjamin M Prewitt


I’m back!!!-excerpt from journeys pg

11/14/12 4:35am pst
Well good morning world, I think,..No as a matter of fact I know I found my heart. Somehow he and my shadow decided to take the day off and well forgot to mention it to me, found the note this morning tapes to the icebox. “Dear, Body you have become far to twitchy and broken these past few weeks so shadow and I are going to take a bit of a holiday,don’t drink to much while we are gone and remember to be kind and generous, the world needs love.”
Signed H & S
PS. Don’t forget to brush you teeth.

So to my surprise I found the scoundrels sleeping on the front porch this morning, it seems they forgot to take their keys.!
Ha serves them right, but they did bring me some lovely gifts. An Elysian Lotus flower from some botanical garden. A movie stub from a show called “Ela Enchanted” and a Blue Butterfly. Their we’re also some HastyWords at the bottom of a card it was rather touching I must say. Anyhow it’s time to take my pills and start the day here in my small corner of the planet. So as heart often reminds me to say. Be kind, be generous and be gentle to each other for you never know when one small word or act of kindness can bring someone’s heart and shadow back home.
Much love
Ps: photo from