I sure wish I could talk to you. To tell the other side of the story. To tell of what things were through my eyes and my heart. You know I never wanted to leave , I never wanted to get sick or get so very lost when I did. I know ppl that I had all kinds of support but in reality I had very little. My social worker and her family brought me firewood and food during the holidays that year of Cancer and betrayal. During the divorce which I didn’t ask for. Did you I tried to for us to see a counselor but sadly I was the only one interested in going. I watched in literal panic or horrors as my life was quickly stripped away. My kids, my home, my career. Everything is ever been , everything is ever worked for and all the time away from home spent earning the money and supporting the lifestyle our family wanted and was accustom to. Please remember as you read this that I’ve been told at every door to go away. I’ve tried to find you and reach out at every address. Bella won’t return my message, your mother told that if ever tired to find you at her home that I’d be removed and I have no address,phone or email for you. As your mother so eloquently stated
“He’s a grown man now and if he wanted to talk to you he would.” I guess I have to accept that that’s what you want, because she’s right. I’ve been at the same address for years now and had the same email and phone for even longer. I love you my boy and Bella tooi hope that world hasn’t been to cruel and that you’ve thrived in the you’ve done. I miss you more than you could ever possibly know unless you’ve kids of your own. Honestly I would never wish the kind of pain and disconnection that I’ve experienced in this life ever on anyone. I hope to see again before I leave this Earth but that ball is your court as I’ve exhausted all the resources I have. Please bring being your Father was the best experience in my life. I love you dearly my children, my son and step daughter. Thank you for the opportunity in this life.
With such gentle touch does this flower open for a taste…
Soft silken petals wet from the morning mist….
Like waking from a warm dream
Embraced and cared for held safe and sound.
Such a feeling comes only from those who truly love us like the morning rain loves the sun or the leaves love the breeze. Oh to be touched deep within the heart without the fear of distrust or jealously.
Such lessons are the hardest after the mirror of innocence is broken. I search deep in my heart and soul to find the strength and love required to quiet these demon so I may stay to watch your flower grow…
“Be brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have, we never know when things will change.”
The pain written in a muses blood doth break the tender heart string of mine.
Given only hope that love large enough to heal the wounds that run so deep.
How I bleed for tortures of a muscle that ever beats then stops forever.
Know this poetess of my dreams desires.
No broken heart call could a true knight
ever lift his hand not to hold another above the flames of hurt and sorrow.
Rest knowing there is a light so strong that no darkness could ever consume.
For it is you…
Thanks for joining me, we’ve done a bit traveling together since we started this adventure you and I. Let’s see we went to the UK for 10 days and then spent 10 days in the Midwest on that commissioned piece. We’ve gotten new tattoos together not to mention done countless paintings over the past two years well year and a half. Here’s just a quick look at the past as we hurdle towards the future.
The UK pieces above and Midwest commission piece below
I just found out that I’ll be going back to the Midwest this coming march so that’s exciting and something to look forward to. I’ve been saving for the UK in April again this year but we shall see if I make it.
But on to the future heading to LA tomorrow morning to go see my youngest brother and his wife/family which is alway a treat. He’s a chef and his Mrs. Is a doctor so they lead pretty busy lives.
That is when there not popping back and forth to their homes in Japan. Sheesh, must be nice right? Well their amazing people and have done so much for my family over the years Arigato!! D and the Kangs now for a little iconic LA, which is funny because those who know me know I really don’t give a hoot about touristy things, though on my last trip I requested to drive by Hollywood and Vine and we did do some shopping and eating in Beverly Hills. Really when I travel I go for specific things usually none of which you can find on google. 😉
Yes a giant doughnut because really who doesn’t love giant doughnuts
And of course you can’t go to So Cal without expecting traffic lol
Anyhow it’s been super great seeing you today I think I’m going to try to rest up a bit today before my ride arrives this evening. I hope the day brings you great peace and happiness to you and yours.
Much love and light.
“never give up”
I hope the day has treated you well today. It’s been a long one, here at the house, full of ups and downs. Oh the joys of progressive neurological diseases.
Life as well has a habit of throwing little land mines in our paths. Today was one of those funny little days, nothing that stopped my planet from spinning just slowed it down a bit.
I again bring these pieces up as to me the speak to perspective not horizon lines and vantage points but perspectives in life. How one chooses to look at something directly effects out lives. Today I chose to accept being wrong and humbled myself to that choice. I chose not to let my fatigue rule my life today, how? I moved slower I accepted that the many things I wanted to do were not going to happen and simply did what I could do. For those of you who know me a little better, know that me accepting my limitations today is a big step. I’m usually pretty bull headed. Not to say I won’t fight PD everyday with all my strength but maybe today I learned to fight with my head a bit better today.
I’m usually not a fan of my own pictures but I kinda like this one, I find it oddly