I sure wish I could talk to you. To tell the other side of the story. To tell of what things were through my eyes and my heart. You know I never wanted to leave , I never wanted to get sick or get so very lost when I did. I know ppl that I had all kinds of support but in reality I had very little. My social worker and her family brought me firewood and food during the holidays that year of Cancer and betrayal. During the divorce which I didn’t ask for. Did you I tried to for us to see a counselor but sadly I was the only one interested in going. I watched in literal panic or horrors as my life was quickly stripped away. My kids, my home, my career. Everything is ever been , everything is ever worked for and all the time away from home spent earning the money and supporting the lifestyle our family wanted and was accustom to. Please remember as you read this that I’ve been told at every door to go away. I’ve tried to find you and reach out at every address. Bella won’t return my message, your mother told that if ever tired to find you at her home that I’d be removed and I have no address,phone or email for you. As your mother so eloquently stated
“He’s a grown man now and if he wanted to talk to you he would.” I guess I have to accept that that’s what you want, because she’s right. I’ve been at the same address for years now and had the same email and phone for even longer. I love you my boy and Bella tooi hope that world hasn’t been to cruel and that you’ve thrived in the you’ve done. I miss you more than you could ever possibly know unless you’ve kids of your own. Honestly I would never wish the kind of pain and disconnection that I’ve experienced in this life ever on anyone. I hope to see again before I leave this Earth but that ball is your court as I’ve exhausted all the resources I have. Please bring being your Father was the best experience in my life. I love you dearly my children, my son and step daughter. Thank you for the opportunity in this life.
So far on this piece, though it looks like it’s taking shape it has many many layers to go. The only thing that’s been truly established is the overall placement, I’ve added a coral texture to the laddle material in hopes that the final image will produce a very organic looking substance either being placed into or taken out off the “Vessel.” This piece holds a very special place in my heart as when I was a child I viewed myself often as a “Vessel” constantly having to adjust to a “new normal.” As I firmly believe as childern we both know everything and nothing at the same time, we are pure yet full of universal knowledge. So in my youth I watched and I listened. Know as a grown man, my world has changed. I job or role if you prefer is to fill the Vessels of those around me. That being said, my hope for this piece once completed is that it represent our roles in humanity to both nature our young with loving tenderness, intellectual challenges and to provide the moral aptitude to make loving,kind,wise choices of the rest of their lives and in doing so help create and nature the type of human that will I turn fill the Vessels of those around them… This I believe is just one of the many paths that mankind can take to help reshape the villianous, selfcentered, nassasistic landscape our society has painted for its current future.
Wow, okay all that before coffee number two, I guess I needed to do some writing today. Well it’s Friday morning here on the west coast of the U.S. I hope wherever you are and however life finds you that you’re well. That love, forveness, patience and kindness follow you for all your day.