I sure wish I could talk to you. To tell the other side of the story. To tell of what things were through my eyes and my heart. You know I never wanted to leave , I never wanted to get sick or get so very lost when I did. I know ppl that I had all kinds of support but in reality I had very little. My social worker and her family brought me firewood and food during the holidays that year of Cancer and betrayal. During the divorce which I didn’t ask for. Did you I tried to for us to see a counselor but sadly I was the only one interested in going. I watched in literal panic or horrors as my life was quickly stripped away. My kids, my home, my career. Everything is ever been , everything is ever worked for and all the time away from home spent earning the money and supporting the lifestyle our family wanted and was accustom to. Please remember as you read this that I’ve been told at every door to go away. I’ve tried to find you and reach out at every address. Bella won’t return my message, your mother told that if ever tired to find you at her home that I’d be removed and I have no address,phone or email for you. As your mother so eloquently stated
“He’s a grown man now and if he wanted to talk to you he would.” I guess I have to accept that that’s what you want, because she’s right. I’ve been at the same address for years now and had the same email and phone for even longer. I love you my boy and Bella tooi hope that world hasn’t been to cruel and that you’ve thrived in the you’ve done. I miss you more than you could ever possibly know unless you’ve kids of your own. Honestly I would never wish the kind of pain and disconnection that I’ve experienced in this life ever on anyone. I hope to see again before I leave this Earth but that ball is your court as I’ve exhausted all the resources I have. Please bring being your Father was the best experience in my life. I love you dearly my children, my son and step daughter. Thank you for the opportunity in this life.
On a poets tongue do words dance to tune heard my many
But sung only for one.
On a painter pallet the colors mix with the stars in the night
Yet each stroke brings me closer to you.
So far from home is this soldiers heart
As my body lay waiting to die.
All things striped or take conversely jaded by
Introverted taint. Though my colors speak loud and clear
Of a passion born hundreds of years ago
bestowed upon a small child born of grapes and farmers
I am thankful for the darkness for it reminds me of the
Light, the light we, you, I need, seek, crave for a brighter day
This life born of the mundane and task driven society has lost
It’s heart between pages three and four of the next how to book.
We are so caught up in the trying that we have forgot how to
Simply be, simply do. The oneness waits crying alone wonder where
Have all these souls and poetic heart gone.
Just thoughts as the cars hum and chickens call for the dawn
Owls croon and blue bells ache for their chance to shine.
All the while I watch, write and paint my heart for the world to see.
Art is for the people, you, me , he, she and we…
Good morning, afternoon and evening. The above is a piece I posted to my tumblr that never made it to my WP. Sometimes with all this tech. KIk, tumblr,we chat,skype, FB, Twitter that I don’t have everything connected. And honestly for a good reason. For a good reason mind you. I remember the first time I thought I was so cool ( lol ) I linked all my stuff and then kind of forgot about it. Then one day I was feeling a little mischievous and wrote a very spicy bit on my A and D site, not thinking I hit post. Sure enough not two hours later I have two of my aunts blushing on face book commenting on how they never new I had such a vivid imagination. Keep in mind I wasn’t raised by my parents I spent most of my childhood with these aunts and uncles, grandparents and such. Not to mention I go to my linkedin account and there’s this saucy bit floating on my homepage…… Yeah well as you can imagine I un-linked all that pretty quick. Any how I hope your all well, I’ll be posting an update on the My Girl ~ Guardian Angel piece shortly.