One more holiday post…..

I was really trying not to do a holiday anything online this year but after consideration I’ve decided to write a tad of my feelings on holiday.
Firstly whatever you support or don’t really has zero effect on me so I’ll wish all of you simply that in your lifetime that you come to know a few things.

~That you find peace, true peace in your heart and mind. The kind only you can describe a place where onlyyou go.

~That even for a moment you stop and smell the roses, trees,air…. Anything just simply press the pause button on life and breath.

~lastly that you are present enough in your life to feel and give true love.
The kind of love that asks for nothing but the love you give and in turn gives it back to you ten-fold.

Happy Winter Solstice (give or take a day).
Always
Benjamin.
2015
“Be the change you desire “

One more day……

One more day smiling and being thankful, one more day walking and talking, laughing with friends and family….. I never want to look back and say, why..? Why didn’t I…? Why didn’t I do,say,listen,love,laugh,dream,cry more,harder,better,longer. NO I WILL NOT. Look back an say these things to myself anymore!!!!! This is my story as yours is yours.
I’ve spent a great deal of my life worrying about literally everything. Planning, strategizing and anticipating for life’s turbulent behavior and ya know what it didn’t help a darn. Shut still happens you can’t plan for, people do completely unexpected things * side note: nothing is unexpected we just often lack the wisdom and fore-sight to see the situations outcome. That’s why we call it a “Life lesson” 🙃😜🙃. If we knew what was going to happen all the time we would never do anything interesting right?? I don’t know. Just a thought to ponder. But back on track. I’m tied of believing the lies I’ve told myself about my story an how to change it. I’m changing me. No more regret, sadness and sorrow. No more why,didn’t I behavior and language. I’ve tried, I’ve been honest and kind, thoughtful as I can be ( Parkinsons does horrible horrible things to the perception part of the brain or at least the brain chemicals that make that process happen.)
So what’s the moral of this midmorning psycho-babble… Don’t wait… Do… Don’t spend to much time living in the land of could’a should’a. I’m rewriting my story now because the one I was living before wasn’t a good story. I didn’t know it was going to change, at the time I didn’t want it to change.. But now I realize that it has… Completely and irrevocably changed and as much as I want some of those things to never change… They have and thank god, I’ve learned the skills to let go, to see a little more clearly and realize that no matter what as long as I’m breathing I’m happy and I’m going to remain happy…!! Why, how? You may ask.. The answer really is that simple, I’m choosing to be…

Well, that’s it. My body has been getting the best of me these days after I raced to finish the something red piece on time, which by the way I failed to get done 😦 Parkinson’s disease is a fickle bitch.
IMG_2280.JPG
Emotional Perception
24×36″ *unframed
Mixed media
SALE PRICE
200 us

+s/h

Well my friends and family that read this blog, thank you. Thank you for bring a part of this story, my story. Thank you for letting me be a part of yours. It’s been an experience that’s for sure… This life… Take care, much love and light.

Benjamin
“A life in progress”
2015

IMG_2363.PNG

New life~Coral

IMG_2116.JPG
New life
12″x12″
Mixed media
100 usd
2015

The beauty we see is just a shell comprised of the things around us, in us and given to us by others. True beauty rises from underneath all obstacles to shine from the depths.
Today I give you New life… In all realness I give myself a New Life. A new chance to live happily. Is that not something all humans deserve and strive for? As I give myself permission to more on with my life regardless of the burdens I carry I in turn hope these things for you. My you wake today in a new light, with new hope, new strength an peace in this new life.

Benjamin
2015
“A life in progress”

IMG_2110.JPG

Lost~

My heart is heavy from the day.
These burdens of life and love
weight heavy upon my head and heart.
tired thoughts, tired heart, body and soul.
This constant battle between whats come and gone,
the reality shift that makes everything
seem like a dream….
Where did I get so lost.
How have I become the monster I feared
as a child?
Now with no memories of the pasted and a
future that has no certainty I fear I’ve lost
my way completely.

B.
2015
“A life in progress”

sneak peak work in progress… 

 

Truths~

I’m forgetting things…….
I can see the goal but have lost
The ability to plan it out…
The pain in my shoulders
Is bi-lateral…. It really really hurts
All….. The…… Time….. (7)
Thyroid what’s the thyroid?????
It controls what?….. Everything…. Shit.
1 in 40 is scary 3 in 5 years is scarier.
Cancer…. Parkinson’s disease. WTF.
My legs are forgetting how to step
“The shakes are coming”, “the shakes are coming”……
Honestly I’m scared.. This is scary shit. I rarely say it out loud and ponder on it even less but today as the pain is relentless and the fatigue never ever stops.
I can’t stop but think and wonder
How much can this human body take…. #alongfortheride
Thank you that’s all.
Benjamin.
2015
“A life in progress”

IMG_1839.JPG