Broken Robot pieces

There was a time when life was clear. Each day I’d wake, go to work come home hopefully making dinner with the family, movie-tv time evening chill then sleeps, rinse and repeat for years. Now I feel challenged at every turn, pulled and pushed in every way possible that a man and human could be taxed of heart,body and soul. This candle grows dim with each deception and sin I swallow so the world can rest in peace as I bury their secret whispers to God along with daises in my graveyard. You’ve broken me and my robot heart with your robot heart breaking machine that you’ve crafted over a lifetime of abuse at the hands of others lies. Greed makes people crazy, I know as I’ve nothing but the clothes on my back. Nothing to hold onto but the sound of my own voice and pounding heart. Nothing else to lose except myself.

Why??? I scream at the heavens as I beg for forgiveness why must I be so cursed with this body and mind. This soul on fire. A walking zombie just waiting to to hear that golden horn to take me home. Faith has a way of making us feel super human, like we are closer to God than anyone else. Are we though can you not decern the voice of God from your own nor the whispers of demons in your ears and flutters in your broken robot heart.

Now life is not clear or good it is not the life I want to have anymore. There is to much pain, fear, anxiety and confusion here in this new place of life. All my safety nets gone, just me and my bad choices. At least I can be accountable for my actions, reasons don’t have to be excuses sometimes it is just a reason but I’ve have learned that when think you’ve got life you’ll find life has got you. . I’m tired of this knowing, seeing, feeling of peoples hidden truths. It is a burden a can no longer bare. Sleep will come soon and I will find her again in heaven as I rest my tired soul.

Benjamin 2018

**Just working through some stuff, as a writer and artist here is my canvas. Do not judge what you can’t even imagine.

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“Sam Smith – I’m Not The Only One” on YouTube

Sneek peek of works in progress and lots more to come

It takes a Village

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First I have to say I love the idea behind this award. It’s not about being “the best” or more inspiring than anyone else. It’s about being a community. For those of us who have been around a while and traded a plethora of awards it gets a little time consuming, well this Award in my humble opinion is not over barring nor to time consuming and it speaks to the reason many if us “Blog”
Not just get our story out there but it’s to reach out and help others rom our own experiences. To belong to a community of like minded people.
So here’s the deal: nominate the people you choose to it used to be 10 and tag bag the people who nominated you, but I think the important part is just to reach out and say “Hey, I appreciate you!!”
So here goes:
I’ve received 2 of these so far and have not replied due to life but this is part of my life so I’m making the time.
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http://sowsewso.com/
http://rendezvouswithrenee.com/
These two lovely ladies have nominated me for this award. If you haven’t already stop by and see what they do it’s worth it. As far as my nominations go they are as follows:
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http://lifeasimprov.com/
http://scvincent.com/
http://stired.wordpress.com/
http://travelingmarla.com/
http://throughthehealinglens.com/
http://experimentalartwithsilvia.wordpress.com/
http://rlbk75.wordpress.com/
http://shackledandcrowned.wordpress.com/
http://mellywilliams.com/
http://kelihasablog.wordpress.com/
http://buckwheatsrisk.com/
http://thesewordsiwrite2012.wordpress.com/
http://hastywords.wordpress.com/

Ok I could go on and on but I’ll stop here for now. Yes I know some of the people I’ve nominated run none awards sites, sorry but I’m being greedy, I just buried my cat, my PD is killing me and this award is about community and you people are as much a part of my family as my flesh and blood family. Some of you I know personally and some of you I know only as a blogger but I love you all for different reasons and this is my way of letting you know.
Alright well happy Sunday I hope the day finds you well and your heart full of love and light.
Namaste
Benjamin

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