Broken Robot pieces

There was a time when life was clear. Each day I’d wake, go to work come home hopefully making dinner with the family, movie-tv time evening chill then sleeps, rinse and repeat for years. Now I feel challenged at every turn, pulled and pushed in every way possible that a man and human could be taxed of heart,body and soul. This candle grows dim with each deception and sin I swallow so the world can rest in peace as I bury their secret whispers to God along with daises in my graveyard. You’ve broken me and my robot heart with your robot heart breaking machine that you’ve crafted over a lifetime of abuse at the hands of others lies. Greed makes people crazy, I know as I’ve nothing but the clothes on my back. Nothing to hold onto but the sound of my own voice and pounding heart. Nothing else to lose except myself.

Why??? I scream at the heavens as I beg for forgiveness why must I be so cursed with this body and mind. This soul on fire. A walking zombie just waiting to to hear that golden horn to take me home. Faith has a way of making us feel super human, like we are closer to God than anyone else. Are we though can you not decern the voice of God from your own nor the whispers of demons in your ears and flutters in your broken robot heart.

Now life is not clear or good it is not the life I want to have anymore. There is to much pain, fear, anxiety and confusion here in this new place of life. All my safety nets gone, just me and my bad choices. At least I can be accountable for my actions, reasons don’t have to be excuses sometimes it is just a reason but I’ve have learned that when think you’ve got life you’ll find life has got you. . I’m tired of this knowing, seeing, feeling of peoples hidden truths. It is a burden a can no longer bare. Sleep will come soon and I will find her again in heaven as I rest my tired soul.

Benjamin 2018

**Just working through some stuff, as a writer and artist here is my canvas. Do not judge what you can’t even imagine.


Painty, paint paint….

Hi, how are you today, doing well I hope. As you may have guessed from my first post today I’m feeling a tad melancholy. I apologize for putting those vibes out into space, really I’m thankful, there are so many that are far worse off than I. So shall we take a look at some paint? Yes.. Okay then let’s do it!!

I took Message in a Bottle to get properly fitted with her frame today. I’m very excited to get it back this Friday so I can hang it in the March show at Crema.
I also took the companion piece Red Dragon ~ Coral series to get framed today as well. Another piece I’m really looking forward to seeing framed.

This show at Crema is going to be an interesting mix of both old and new some older pieces from late 2011-12 and then some newer pieces like the ones above. I did however take a piece that I hold very near and dear to me. Many I think will not “get it” which is perfectly fine with me. The work is titled
So Many Questions” and it’s not just about PD though it is the first piece in the 2012 Parkinson’s collection. For me it’s also a very pure statement of how I think. I question everything, period. I have since I was a child and I hope to for all of my days.

So Many Questions
Parkinson’s Series

I’ll also be showing these older pieces, most of which have only been out of the house once.

The Long Road

Guiding Light

The Unknown
I will also be hanging a number of smaller pieces this time as I don’t like to repeat myself when I show and except for some large pieces, most everything is sold already. A quick look at the little-ones.


The many faces of me


Foot’n mouth
*never before shown in public
And if by some small miracle I’m able to complete the Moon and Me then I’ll show this piece as well.

Sorry for the poor photo quality on that on its still very much in progress so I haven’t taken any quality pics.
Well thanks again for stopping in tomorrow I’ll be dropping off the piece for the Capitol building juried show

I’m so excited to just be a part of the event, who cares if I “win” or place in my mind I’ve already accomplished my goal. The Capital show will hang from 2/28/14 thru 3/7/14.
As always, Be Brave, be Bold and Thrive in the life you have.
Much love and light