As I stood with tears
Streaming down my face
I let the wind wash over me.. Again
I looked for strength, guidance, searching…….
Hands shanking, heart’s breaking for no
Reason…. why……..?
To what end do these days accumulate?
I’m tired, a man slowly freezing in time.
Memories fade, change, blurred by time
And disease. Fading, falling,failing……..fears
b.
I’ve reached a wall, I’ve tried to be kind and patient. I’ve tried to communicate my needs but now I’m done. The other day I lost an email account and all the files associated with. Sadly this email account had 15 years of my life attached to it. Medical,professional and personal. Kids pics,my memoirs and international contacts. Needless to say I’m literally sick to my stomach. My ex-wife is fighting me for custody of my son and I’m pissed. So……..Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Yeah, I’m going to sue the wholly hell out of Comcast if I don’t see some type to resolution.
**Side note: This just in: earlier today 9/24/15 after writing the first part of this post I decided to do some research an found the emails for the senior executives of the Comcast corporation ane sent them this email which I first sent to the CEO of the company,
To each executive I sent a copy of this email with a different subject line: Some reading ” Flash~Comcast loses disabled mans vital records” or ” Flash~ Comcast mocks man with Parkinson’s disease after losing 15 years worth of data. So this afternoon I get a call from Shiela and she’s “very concerned” about my situation….. Well since I really don’t want to sue these people, I really want my data, memories and information back I gave Sheila the chance to do her thing. On the flip side I have two legal teams salivating to eat Comcast alive from every angle so either way somewhere someone will understand I’m seriously pissed.
Same thing with this child custody thing, how could anyone who knows the bond I have with my son try to stand in the way of me and my son. I’m not asking for full custody just 50/50 we part the same way we came. Anyhow sorry now I’m being a whiner, just venting. But seriously I’m not backing down 😀.
Update: 9/30/2015
Still waiting to see if they can recover my files…. Though now I’m actually talking with their corporate office instead of the pathetic excuse of a customer service department.
Well I’m gonna hit post instead of leaving this random draft in my phone.
I hope the world is being kind to all of you and you to it.
Namaste
B.
“A life on hold”
2015
I can’t even begin to express
This feeling that crushes
And burns in my chest.
It claws at my heart and tears
At my brain
slowly it breaks me
and drives me insane.
These tears that flow,
show no signs
Of slow nor stopping any time soon. I’ve loved you forever
and over the moon.
Yes… Your my everything
and my in between
your are my heart before it fell apart and made me this
thing I’ve become.
I’ll love you forever
for you are my blood
You carry my name and the next
Chance to be,
a better man, father
and person than me….
I love and miss you my boy with every breath I take.
Love,
Dad.
8/30/2015
“A life in progress”
2015
I’m working on a new collection of work and hope to have most of the best pieces ready for the OHSU Symposium this September 26th in Portland Oregon. Honestly I’ve not much to say, I still have Parkinson’s disease 😉 and I still paint and write. I’m hoping to travel more next year while I still have the strength. But we shall see what the universe has in store. I’m finding more and more these days that my meds take longer to be effective and have a shorter “on” stage.
I’ve been walking and stretching constantly but the stiffness from the PD is pretty relentless. Well on that note I’m off to the doctors. Happy Tuesday, and please remember to be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have. One never knows when when this adventure will end.
Always
Benjamin
“A life in progress”
2015
Each day we have the opportunity to start over. To view the the world through fresh eyes, heart and soul. The choice is ours…. Take it.
B.
2015
Expressions of my life - An evolution of art. 