The Universe, Me and a frog

It has been almost a year since true hell came to my doorway and looked down upon my face. Gave a huge smile and said your mine for the next 5 five years. Cancer fucking sucks. I thought Parkinson’s disease was enough, but man i lost so much muscle and the chemo messed my head and nervous system up so bad.. Seriously there are some things that one can’t quantify truly until you’ve lived through them. I’ve been shown the kindness of strangers and the disengaugement of family. Witnessed good families fall apart and bad ones turn good again. Loved ones passed while friends faded and fluxed. I find these days a friend is only as good as they are on their worst day. That is depth of a friendship I’ve found.

As my carer likes to kid with know that Ive gotten “old” Ha!!! Not even 5o yet 😎🎨🎉 As I’ve found as I’ve matured that wisdom gives me site but Parkison’s has made me emotionally blind or hypersensitve to my desires, paint, music,companionship food, love, sex, ect…. The Agnosia plays a tricky little bugger in the mix because it takes foresite away. So where one person may think jumping in that tank of hungry sharks sounds like a bad idea. My brain is a tad more likely to think…hmmmm. It might be okay or hmmm I’ve never done that before might as well before PD or Cancer finishes me off. But in reality getting eaten by sharks is like my hugest fear ever lol. Sooo yeah. Life with Parkinson’s disease has been a trip. A true test of heart and faith. Always chasing an ever changing disease with drugs that are just as bad as the disease ie; side-effects. Anyhow i hope that love and peace find you in this life time. Do truly cherish those close to you eachday. Be as present in your life as possible and if your living a life you don’t want to live then your not really living your just alive. I myself with my ever shinking circle of mobility and friendships chose to live right here right now. For yesterday is gone and tomorrow is never promsied for death as life often comes unannounced.

All my love Always.

B-2017

So many things to say…..So little time to say them..

I miss you like the leaves
Miss the springs sun
After the warms rains have
Washed the detritus
from the day
As the cool autumn night
Guides the inborn fire of life
Taking seed once again
So do the stars flirt high above
Giving winks to their lovers
From a lifetime away.

Such sorrow these sweet
Lips bare, for the yearning
Of a tender hearts calling.
Born not of bitter bread
And sleepless night.
But of childish passion
that craves the touch of
a tempted heart.
Do these words linger
on the tongue like the
Lost dreams of a forgotten
man?

Come to me…see me for
The poetic fool and passionate
paint I bleed…… For they are real
not made of black and white.
See me this broken knight on
bended knee….
See me for who I am not whom you think I should be…..

Benjamin
2014

Studio Update +

Hi, thanks for stopping by. Truly one of my favorite things to do is spend time with anyone who would like to discuss Art,life,philosophy really just about anything as long as you have an open mind and are willing to have a conversation I’m up for it, name your topic. Today as some of you know is my PT day 3 hrs of me physically trying to keep Parkinson’s at bay. I really have some of the best in the field of neuro-science and PT. Anyhow you can see my FB check-ins to see what that’s all about. Today I’m here to share Art. Let’s take a little peek at what happened this morning. I woke at 2:30am pst so I’ve had plenty of time to play with paint.

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This piece is 24″ x 24″ or 61cm(2) I have yet to do any ( ZERO) detail painting on this work thus far
I will however be doing a great deal of it in the near future. Detail painting: creating depth by highlighting both dark and light tones within the piece to create depth, same as many of the Ribbons series pieces and the new “leaf esc” or highly organic style texturing I’ve been doing as of late, here let’s look a little closer at this one I’ve yet to get a good full photo of this piece.

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This last photo was taken prior to the most recent paint application but I wanted you to see what I mean when I speak about “gallery wrapped” or “boxed panel”

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The edges of the piece are already sanded and “finished” per say as far as most galleries are concerned so once truly finished this piece will be show ready, no frame needed but one certainly still could apply a tradition frame.
I’ve been stewing on some larger pieces that I think may surprise many of you I’m not going to say how or what or that I’ll be changing my style but they will be different than your used to. I have some strong abstract images that have been building themselves in my head that are just about ready to come say hi to the world. A sneak peek of some of the ideas I’m going to be combining.

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I know I’m being rather vague but I’m really nowhere near the place I need to be to share the idea
In its full form. I also realized the first full photo of the new piece is cropped wrong 😦 so here’s a better image. Here’s two more not very good photos 😦

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Thought of the day: do you believe that you can be and do anything? If so hell yes!!! Me too, if not why….Actually never mind, because the first part of of believing you can do anything is clearing your heart of all the reasons you’ve told yourself why you can’t do something.
Yes I realize I can’t breath in outer space or an amputee can’t regrow a limb (yet) but if you want to go to Greece go to Greece or if you want to be super hero or artist,writer etc…. Simply make it happen. Every great journey starts with one small step.

Namaste
Benjamin
2013