Dark eyes grow strong as the fire rages in her in brain. She’s lost a drift of bones and blood from another soul lost to her consuption of the darkness. Force fed to her from such a tender age. The blending of families and friends taking their leave of her time and again. Rage and fear so clear on her face, as the new normal set in.
So many years later, so many hearts broken, confused and destroyed by the deeds of your past. I whisper with the angels in hopes you find real peace of mind and the steady of faith like those whom truly shine of the light you crave so dearly. I gave you everything I had. My heart , my belongings and my body and soul. None of which could silenced the demons that cry from deepths of your mind and body. Your heart is to damaged for my damaged soul to heal. So now…. Now what do we do as this life’s glue has cemented me and you. What dear called angel, sugar pea of love, betrayal and dreams gone wrong in the darkness of the fears raging in the depth of our souls. Don’t be remembered as the destroyer of worlds but the giver of life and new perspective. Be the renewed gift of life the grandmothers thought you to be. All this for such sad dark eyes growing darker every day. Be the light you said you were, be the light I’ve seen the those dark eyes.
It’s there you’ll find me. Beneath the rubble of my shattered dreams. Piles of pills and tinctures galore, all to ease the pain of the day. It’s there you’ll find me, mixed in paint and whsipers, scattered in the words spilled so carelessly aross the canvas of my life. It’s there you’ll find me sleeping under the old oak trees, dreaming of you and a gentle warm breeze. All you have to do is come find me… The end.
I don’t know how it feels to be you… To be inside your head, heart body and soul. To be that you behind the eyes and reflection you see in the mirror. Nor would I ever expect another to understand I of the same. I feel so deeply it hurts at times my mind and adrenaline rushing away with every fiber of my being like a whirlwind of color and weight of this feeling of feeling so deeply… It hurts… I feel.
Do we all not hurt so the same? If so then why do we not cherish those near and dear to us with ever essence of our being. If the world is full of hurt feeling and complexity beyond belief…. If we are what we say we are, spiritual creatures then why do we not act as such and if we are just animals looking for shelter and food. Why do we feel…. Love,hate, sorrow, sunshine, fresh air,bacon….. And the salt air.or the way that only new born babies smell or the last tucked in cuddles goodnight feels….. And why is it so hard for one person to be so different from each other yet be so bonded to another. Feelings…. Yucky feels to many of them these days…
Yes I long for the quiet sky and dream of soft spring rains and longer summer nights. The Sounds of laughter and joy not buses and bustle or sidewalk panhandlers shuffle. I feel to much, to much from you, from me, from the trees and ants and the birds and the bees….. I feel to much… Or is that how the world is supposed to be is that how this life is supposed to be…. I feel to much. The end ✌️