Please don’t…..

Please do not come to me with love or lust.

Please do not come to me with tears or fears.

Please do not come to me with memories in your eyes.

Please do not come for me if you’re not going to stay.

Please do not come for me if you’re just going to walk away.

Please do not come to me if these things lay in your mind for now in this life I’ve decided to unwind. Nearly 50 years of this Earth and I’m tired of the grind.

Please do not come to me , with wishes of fishes and fancy hand made poems. You’ve already thrown them all away, I’ll not paint them again. Gone shall that stay.

Please do not come to me if you can’t love me for me being me for more than a day.

Mr.b

#iwritestuff

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Broken Robot pieces

There was a time when life was clear. Each day I’d wake, go to work come home hopefully making dinner with the family, movie-tv time evening chill then sleeps, rinse and repeat for years. Now I feel challenged at every turn, pulled and pushed in every way possible that a man and human could be taxed of heart,body and soul. This candle grows dim with each deception and sin I swallow so the world can rest in peace as I bury their secret whispers to God along with daises in my graveyard. You’ve broken me and my robot heart with your robot heart breaking machine that you’ve crafted over a lifetime of abuse at the hands of others lies. Greed makes people crazy, I know as I’ve nothing but the clothes on my back. Nothing to hold onto but the sound of my own voice and pounding heart. Nothing else to lose except myself.

Why??? I scream at the heavens as I beg for forgiveness why must I be so cursed with this body and mind. This soul on fire. A walking zombie just waiting to to hear that golden horn to take me home. Faith has a way of making us feel super human, like we are closer to God than anyone else. Are we though can you not decern the voice of God from your own nor the whispers of demons in your ears and flutters in your broken robot heart.

Now life is not clear or good it is not the life I want to have anymore. There is to much pain, fear, anxiety and confusion here in this new place of life. All my safety nets gone, just me and my bad choices. At least I can be accountable for my actions, reasons don’t have to be excuses sometimes it is just a reason but I’ve have learned that when think you’ve got life you’ll find life has got you. . I’m tired of this knowing, seeing, feeling of peoples hidden truths. It is a burden a can no longer bare. Sleep will come soon and I will find her again in heaven as I rest my tired soul.

Benjamin 2018

**Just working through some stuff, as a writer and artist here is my canvas. Do not judge what you can’t even imagine.

How strange-free write

It’s midnight here and I must go write. Type or speak but not write, is anything written anymore…? Vows not spoken nor true loves token, taken anymore. Has the world lost its way again? How strange to be here again as the flowers start to push and reach for the nights air. Like a dream of a dream that I’ve been here before. Soon the sun will come and bring more changes to the world, my world and our lives are scarred forevermore with the tears of Angels.

How strange that you are here while I am there. Worlds apart but we breath the same air. Tonight I am weak and solice I seek for the demons tear at my soul…. Twin flames burn bright white hot as ones heart turns to coal. Another turns to stone in face of a place I used to call home. Strange how you think you know what you’d do when it came time to do it, but time is fickle , like an icecicle it drips away before you know it.

Benjamin-2018

**Random freewrite, the purging of my brains.

I have always cared to deeply.

Into the heart of the matter does a man not begin to see things clearly after years of experience and silent hell spent yearning for things lost to the uncureable and fortunes failure.?

Give him not the grace of wisdom by failing to prove faithful and loyal of heart and mind, then truly demons mist walk among us in the shape of Eve and Angels lost of hope and heart, broken and cursed forevermore. Wings of gossomur silk traded for whispers of a ghost, lost in the darkness. 

Again surrounded by confusion and panic. Living in a roller coasters heart has taken its toll… I’ve grown to tired to fight anymore, the soul of Hope has been bled nearly dry by harlotts and harpies. Grown so tired of endless giving, endless judgement and critics galor. All for a place to rest this weary and weathered soul, a cursed night and endless wonderer now numb and tired from the rain and cold of this life. Shivers uncontrolled now echo these bones of truths giving pardon only to fires in my soul as I drift away…

The End… A freewrite by.me

Benjamin M Prewitt 2017 December 31st #myshakylife 

“Sam Smith – I’m Not The Only One” on YouTube

Sneek peek of works in progress and lots more to come