On a night just like this.

On a night just like this the stars shown for us.
Brighter than the anything we’d…..ever seen.
Long walks in fall as the leaves changed.
Followed by winters warmed by the fire.
Gently snow drifts down as softlights guide,;bright lights into springs hands as the body renews and life begins again. Slow at first with just buds of the future showing clear and strong.

Then into growth with branches clear and clean. Woven mysteries like tapestries drift from the northern lights to my heart. Each pulse a beacon of strength and knowing that I am never truly alone in this world.

On a night just like this I forgave myself for loving you and for you never loving me. That is why on a night just like this the stars shown for just me, for I am as you are and we shall forever be lost in time, misplaced but mine no more lost and forgotten as the hummingbirds have left the hillside and now I follow only my heart. Adieu.

Words have never been so bitter sweet as if spoken from a place looking down in shame.i am forever grateful for this life be it ending or flourish for a thousand more.
I shall speak of this no more.

Benjamin. 2016 

My life after you…. 


“Johnny Cash – Sunday Morning Coming Down” 

Happy Sunday

Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing know that you’re loved.

 It’s really that simple. Always 

B. 2016 #mylifewithcancer #mylifewithparkinson’s 


Life is funny like that. 

I wake in the night gasping for air and hand that isn’t there…

Searching to silence the demons of fear and regret.
Sometimes even the bravest of knights must kneel before the sun and give way to the next dawn…

Finding solace in the arms of a sequence of zeros and ones is no way to live a life..

But it’s one hell of a way to die…
B. 2016
“a life on hold”


“Imagine Dragons – Radioactive”

Okay will someone please share a cancer joke with me here…  Lol 😁  just one please it’s funny…. Come on….  What?  To soon…  😂😂😛😛😲😵😵😛😛🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 I could make you a martini if it would make you feel better, so substitutes shaken not stirred lol 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁  ohhhhh I crack me up. Sorry Internet this is what happens when you leave me alone for to long.. 

B. 2016 

“A life in progress” 


And then there was none.

I’ve grown tired of these fickle feelings. These lights I see that seem so bright from the distance dim so greatly as I approach.
Some want things,some want condolences to give or it take.
Some want to stand close to the fire.
But all get burned
There’s only been one to step fully in that light, but that fire has diminished to coals and burning ember tossed in the yard left to die.
There’s always lights in the distances it just seems my eyes and heart have grown week enough to not care . Bruised and beaten from trying to hard. Jaded and sharp from trying to play a game I’ve forgotten years ago.
I’ve grown tired and the Stars have grown dim.
Once I cared to much now these pains and cancers of this earth are slowly jading me taking little bits each time like birds of prey coming to pick the carcass clean. I yearn for the comfort of your hand on my back as I rest,  the sound of your heart against mine,  these are all dreams gone floating in the distance past. Just memories of dreams lost or ruined by time.  

The end of morning words. 

B. 2016
“A life in progress.”
I’ll walk this path along  if I must but I will leave scorched earth behind to remind all that to give up on hope and love is to give up on life itself.