There is a tiredness about the day that i can’t put into words. I feel as though life is laughing at me as it pushes and pulls me in every direction. How much grief, disappointment, confusion and physical pain can one waking human handle. Giving no heed as the waves of change and discontentment crash against the shores of my soul…
My robot is broken. More times than not as i find my social and personal filters gone. Blank……. Simply not recognising expressions on peoples faces or being able to just work something out in my head. Also forced to “talk it out” no words just gutteral emotion directionless a verbal sandtrap of swirling colors,sounds and distraction. There is a tiredness today that robs me of all my hope and strength.. A darkness that only the dead and dilerious can truly understand. It is simply like walking up to a mirror and not recognising the person you see. Logic says that is me but i look at this shell, ravaged mind and weep. Now as i find that the world is not a place a choose to engage i look to the heavens to guide me back home. i am not strong enough for this burden, these wings, heart and soul are tired of the dance. There are no true angels left just damaged human souls looking for shelter in the storms of their lives. This i know as i am one of many broken hearts scattered through time. Such is the fraility of man.
I need to focus on self healing and search for guidence. Things always have a way of sneaking up on me it seems. Sadly Parkinson’s disease makes it hard to read ppl. Im a little lost with so much stress in my life and finding a my rock is a little blurry right now. Please for all who are interested. Huge art sale make an offer. All will be sold to make room for new collections and help me survive this insurance crisis im in. Please see my instagram a count for most current paintings.
Into the night i walk with no more fear. I have none left for it is all gone, this thing that manifests itself when the unknown reaches in. Fear, i take your hand tonight and embrace what will come with dedication and passion that the living have never seen. To slowly come back down to this earth this time and place.. To truly be present in this shell. To breath again as a man and poet, artist and traveler of this world. To bring light to the darkness and truth to blind,wicked and weak of heart.
Into the night i walk with no fear in my heart. You are my river, a stream of strength that god himself cast upon this life as a golden stream of light when i was child. I’ve waited and lived a thousand years just to drink from your lips again one more time before this light fades into the night. I shall lift you to stars and heavens above, exalt you above all others as you would for I in these days of easy touch and go. I am with you always as you are in me… In my heart tucked safe an sound from the darkness that abounds. We are home you and I.
Into the night i walked with a small amount of peace in my heart that I’ve not felt in years.. The End.
“Be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have.” you never know when things will change and change they will. benjamin
There are no words to explain the chaos that reigns down upon me on this day of all days or anyday as it or may have been. The winds of time have whipped and frayed me to the core of cores…. And i have walked or wiggled my way so far,….. Yet home never came back….Never once..
Now this heart is done with love or so it seems.. I’ve grown tired of the chase. A heart, a poem, a sleeve and soul with no filters as i look blankly at the walls like a child recording every sound, every change and subtly. With eyes blurred by time, tinted by roses once, uet now turned to stone as this burden and worry grow deep.
Such falsehoods we keep as the dancers dance remembering all thing have weight and we have a choice everyday of whom we shall be… And how we shall behave.
Foregive me not whispers in the dark are like white lies on the darkest night… Giving little comfort by the light day and truth of honor.