403 reasons to live.

Enjoy it.. it seems to be the only thing my last life requires from me is money. I gave you my heart, my health and very life I had. When it came time to be a family you choose money over me. Asked ME TO LEAVE. NOT MY CHOICE. Now HERE take the very little I have while I starve to death in a home I’ll never have. 10,880.00 I hope it fill it the void that I left behind. These words may sound angry to you from so far away from my world . But everyday for the last 8 years of my life has been hard, ugly and transformative. I’ve done all this virtually alone. Parkinson’s disease daily, Cancer, Covid-19, from where I sit. On the hand me downs of hand me downs take it all you e already taken my family. Take may ability to pay for life as well… Like I said before enjoy it. Out it good use. As you do, I’ll be living in shack eating rice and beans from paper plates . Remembering the times when I was King. These days I’m broken and well aware of who, how and why. I know I’ve maybe ten years left. I know exactly what is up with this mind and body. I’ve. Watched helplessly as it’s all fallen apart Infront of me. So yeah. Hope you all are well. I.M.A you know where to find me , you have my numbers, you get to live with your choices Knowing that you not I made the choice to live a life without me and not the other way around. I didn’t leave my family. My family choose to leave me…. Enjoy the money.

Sincerely Benjamin M Prewitt aka a guy once called Dad.

Thoughtless nights and sleepless words

Sometimes I wonder with this corvid-19 adventure if it’s even worth playing the game anymore. Social isolation until a reasonable amount of people won’t die or be horribly wounded because of a rush to judgement. A year 18 months maybe longer since the last vaccine we humans made was for polio.. don’t quote me on that, it’s a tequila timeline quote. Possibly correct and possibly bullshit lol. Though I may just research it now that I’m curious. But I’m pretty sure we’ve never done an effective vaccine for a Corina virus otherwise we’d no longer have the flu or common cold. Whatever all I know is after all this bullshit I’m still gonna have Parkison’s, my kids will dislike as much as they do now and I’m still going to wake up to an empty bed , body full of pain and head full of clouds. Yay 🎉🎉🧧😵🤯😵 almost at the no thanks level. As a grown up all I ever wanted was a family. I didn’t want to be a single guy running around painting and writing poetry… Well I did want to do that stuff but I wanted a family too. I suppose I could say I’m lucky to have had both a family and a chance to be the “Artists” honestly I kind thought the Dad husband part was going to last a long time longer. Anyhow, corvid-19. I’ve been sick for 21 days now with an undetermined upper respiratory infection.. But even with world wide pandemic and people literally filling up the ER rooms around the world a person in the United States of America can’t walk in and say hey I’m sick af for no reason. Can I get tested?? Nope no Sir. You’ve gotta be so fucking sick you can’t help yourself and must be hospitalized. Or know exactly who it was that have you covid19. Which BTW is almost impossible since it’s gestation period is unknown for sure …. Why? Because it’s a Novel Virus. Novel means new for those still trying to catch up. Yes it covid19 rant time. I’m over being single. Isn’t that why all these ladies have onlyfans and premium whatever chats for?? I’m weird I know I like my sex in person. My chats online , my wife in real time and my income constant lol. Is that to much to ask? Final thoughts.. Sunday night. I miss my life, my kids this new life it kinda sucks and I’m way over it. Covid19 has killed my virtually none existing sex life and I’m also kind of I’ve that too. I still have Parkison’s and right this second I’m kinda freaked out about being sick for so long with no word as to word is wrong. I really tired of being single and being percieved as being a lunatic when in reality, I’m just broken. I did good fixing most of my broken pieces from childhood but then the grown up shit started happening and that was 22 billion times worse than being a kid FML. So yeah I’m going to put my isolated, tired , grumpy but to bed. Have a great quarantine people, shame on you if your not practicing physical distancing right now. Chances are good you’re actions are directly putting someone elses life in danger. Nobody should have that rigSht without do process. Anyhow Good night, chances are good I’ll be here tomorrow. So be good, be safe and healthy. B2020 day 19/20 practicing social distancing… I actually enjoy it truth be told. Lol.. damn people are so freaking messy.