Find me..

It’s there you’ll find me. Beneath the rubble of my shattered dreams. Piles of pills and tinctures galore, all to ease the pain of the day. It’s there you’ll find me, mixed in paint and whsipers, scattered in the words spilled so carelessly aross the canvas of my life. It’s there you’ll find me sleeping under the old oak trees, dreaming of you and a gentle warm breeze. All you have to do is come find me… The end.

Benjamin. 2018

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Faded love… In times of great change..

In these times of sudden change I find myself reaching for you only to have found you’ve moved on.. I forget sometimes.. I’m use to you going and coming back home but the idea of forever never crossed my mind. I never should have promised my heart and soul to a ghost of forgot dreams. I hope one day to be at peace with myself but honestly that sanctuary is long gone

My demons have come to many times. They know my name and I thiers. The time of a silent mind and gentle spirit are gone, now is the time for fighting and gaining ground before the Parkinson’s disease demon swallows me whole. Come and play,come and stay I promise the show will be grand. Especially the finally I hear is to die for. 😉

Until next time.

B-2018

Today-I woke….

Today I woke falling.

Reaching for you.

But you’d gone already

You were there right in front of me

But you’d already pushed me

Out.

Today I woke looking for the

Hand, the person I hold so

Closely to my heart

But you’d gone and I’m falling.

Benjamin-2018

I feel..

I don’t know how it feels to be you… To be inside your head, heart body and soul. To be that you behind the eyes and reflection you see in the mirror. Nor would I ever expect another to understand I of the same. I feel so deeply it hurts at times my mind and adrenaline rushing away with every fiber of my being like a whirlwind of color and weight of this feeling of feeling so deeply… It hurts… I feel.

Do we all not hurt so the same? If so then why do we not cherish those near and dear to us with ever essence of our being. If the world is full of hurt feeling and complexity beyond belief…. If we are what we say we are, spiritual creatures then why do we not act as such and if we are just animals looking for shelter and food. Why do we feel…. Love,hate, sorrow, sunshine, fresh air,bacon….. And the salt air.or the way that only new born babies smell or the last tucked in cuddles goodnight feels….. And why is it so hard for one person to be so different from each other yet be so bonded to another. Feelings…. Yucky feels to many of them these days…

Yes I long for the quiet sky and dream of soft spring rains and longer summer nights. The Sounds of laughter and joy not buses and bustle or sidewalk panhandlers shuffle. I feel to much, to much from you, from me, from the trees and ants and the birds and the bees….. I feel to much… Or is that how the world is supposed to be is that how this life is supposed to be…. I feel to much. The end ✌️

Benjamin-2018