403 reasons to live.

Enjoy it.. it seems to be the only thing my last life requires from me is money. I gave you my heart, my health and very life I had. When it came time to be a family you choose money over me. Asked ME TO LEAVE. NOT MY CHOICE. Now HERE take the very little I have while I starve to death in a home I’ll never have. 10,880.00 I hope it fill it the void that I left behind. These words may sound angry to you from so far away from my world . But everyday for the last 8 years of my life has been hard, ugly and transformative. I’ve done all this virtually alone. Parkinson’s disease daily, Cancer, Covid-19, from where I sit. On the hand me downs of hand me downs take it all you e already taken my family. Take may ability to pay for life as well… Like I said before enjoy it. Out it good use. As you do, I’ll be living in shack eating rice and beans from paper plates . Remembering the times when I was King. These days I’m broken and well aware of who, how and why. I know I’ve maybe ten years left. I know exactly what is up with this mind and body. I’ve. Watched helplessly as it’s all fallen apart Infront of me. So yeah. Hope you all are well. I.M.A you know where to find me , you have my numbers, you get to live with your choices Knowing that you not I made the choice to live a life without me and not the other way around. I didn’t leave my family. My family choose to leave me…. Enjoy the money.

Sincerely Benjamin M Prewitt aka a guy once called Dad.

Three A.M. and do you know where your dog is…

Two AM words that leaked from ear into the pillow. I tried to scoop them up and put them into some kind of order for you today. Be sure to chew your food. 🎙️In my best Bukowski reading voice.**. You must have a mental note of this voice for this poem to make sense in your inner (voice)head. 🎙️Art is like a lonely whore on thirds street 🚬 She wakes you at 3am to get lift into town. Makes you wait while she showers then calls you Daddy until payday.. 💸 Art is fickle but I love her so , she comes and goes , knows my name well by now. At least when she leaves she doesn’t use her teeth. I’ve taught her that much. Art is fickle though I love her so, each day before leaves she sews my heart back together, pour me a drink, kisses my forehead and gives me a small small that only I know means she’ll be back, she’s sorry she can’t stay but nobody wants to watch a young fool turn into tired warrior. Maybe I’ll sleep till Christmas or maybe I’ll pour another Scotch, change the radio and dance myself to sleep. Art is fickle but I love her so…. B-2020 #iwritestuff #bukowskifan #darkart #wordsmatter #myart #myshakylife #cancersurvivor #parkinsonswarrior ##workinprogress #iwillnevergiveup #latenightthoughts #welcometomyworld #gemini #pnwartist #liveart https://www.instagram.com/p/B9OpfPLlQUedm7wU1dMCJ9I7fpiGnlujlFCJjI0/?igshid=bu5bj2s7zgrz

I deleted you today.

I deleted you today took your contacts and threw them away deleted our history our pictures to 3 years of love in friendship and what could I do. I texted I called I prayed and I waited, but all these days and I believe that our histories faded. I can’t reach out to you anymore because our history is gone everything’s been deleted so now let it be repeated once upon a Time we had a thing we almost got married and I gave you a ring little did I know you had little Emma inside . I wonder what it would have been like to see her little face I wonder who she looked like or if someone else took my place. Doesn’t matter now everything’s been deleted only the history in my head will the story be repeated. Goodbye my friend words I never thought I’d say certainly not on this fine day, but I guess as things shall be, you never really wanted the entirety of me. So now I hope when your times get bad you think of me and the things we had. Good-bye forever..

Benjamin 2020