There was no tunnel
There was no light
I waited like you said
No light ever came
It didn’t get easier, for that is how I’m made.
My job to feel, my mission to protect mine, yours.
Theirs it didn’t matter.
My job is to serve, protect, provide and guide.
Or so I thought……
Then the great train came and took me away.
I road for hours, that turned into days that stretched for a thousand, thousand life times.
The horror of human kind,
mothers that left their babies roadside to die, with notes that smelled of flowers and the fathers that stood by and watched.
Sin eaters that bellies shrank as their pockets grew fat with greed.
All the while I walked because I was told to.
“Keep moving forward” the sign in my head said. So I did, with no question and pride. I moved on through he, she , me and we and I kept moving until the darkness grew deep……….
So deep I fact it stopped me….
The darkness had found me…
This time it wasn’t letting go. I cried and I tried and watched as we died. But the darkness would not could move for it was mine to stay.
Until I myself asked it to go away.
Then on the darkest of day on the coolest of Summer’s nights you came to me. Turned on the brightest of light this dog dog could ever see. A machine of living proof dressed in the elegant shades of grey. Adorned it Silver and black.
You carried the light for with I seek a reason to rise again a reason to speak. The better parts of me know that I can truly see. The darkness wasn’t you….
It was always simply a part of me.
“A life in progress” **Stories from the Great Train
Good afternoon good morning and good evening I hope everyone out there is doing well today. Finally have finished the brick paintings, soon I will be doing a post that will contain the geotag locations for each of those paintings unfortunately it is going to be just a Salem and surrounding area function on September 3rd so keep your ears and eyes out for that you Northwest folks. Today we’re looking at the first of what is going to be a 8 – 10 painting series using the same textural styles as the Brick series pieces so the key Forbidden fruit, Solitude, Frequency, just to name a few.
This piece here is 2 feet by 4 feet I’ve used a custom mixture to create the under texture that and binder that covers the Birch panel for starters and I use a proprietary mix of gesso plaster of Paris and other fibers, natural fibers to create a secondary texture. Golden paint company uses, I should say makes a product called fiber paste which is about $25 for six ounces of it, which is to expensive.So I basically took their product and went into science mode and figured out how they do what they do and have been able to come up with the formula that will give me that same effect for $25 a gallon as opposed to $25 for six ounces of product.
Here we have the same image with a closer crop giving you a better look at the details of the piece. Each layer of the beginning days of this painting takes about a day to paint sand, assess, color touch, and then dry. That is assuming that I’m only applying one color per day. Often I will use fans and or quick dry additives and binders to the custom colors that are created in each piece to affect how the human eye sees the transparencies of the color and how the light affects each piece from each direction. Right then it’s been lovely to see and hear from all of you today I’ve started to regain some sense of normal in my life which very very nice. I’ve started to develop my patterns and routines which make me feel safe living alone with young onset Parkinson’s disease. I’ve also just really started to realize that though I may need a partner to feel complete, I do not need a partner to feel whole and loved. I’ve been under so much stress for the past many years. I’ve forgotten how to truly love and enjoy myself when aone. Thankfully I have some amazing friends that regardless of the limitations physically and or mentally Parkinson’s disease may present in front of me and my friend group, these people are willing to basically to put it bluntly, they are willing to stand strong next to me while I indore the path that Parkinson’s disease and and will present to me. Sadly to this day Parkinson’s disease has no cure. So I have the unfortunate reality of slowly watching my bodily functions fail me. I will lose control of my muscles my limbs and eventually my life. I’m forever thankful for my friends my family the people that have stood next to me during this journey I hope to make this next chapter the best one yet. I hope to see many of you there at the finish line. Much love and have a great day.
2016 Be brave be bold and thrive in the life you have. For you never know when life is going to change but one of the guarantees in life is that it is going to change.
To what hearts delight as the time slips alway by your side.
Such companionship, nay
I say true friendship of the kind that is:
I see you, you see me as real as can be friend that
Tells you your wrong when your wrong
And stands behind you when your justified.
These are the friends to stand the long fight.
With one to my left and none to my right.
My dearst sweet friend i could talk all night.
But instead of these things that might cause of delight you my sweet dear are fighting your own fight.
So I.You see, I think you should be you and I will be me.
We’ll meet in the middle and see what we see.
“A life in progress.”
**dedicated to a friend of mine fighting thyroid cancer. Sometimes the friends and people you need in your life have been there the whole time and it simply takes life a while to connect your orbits.
Such treacherous words lay
upon the floor like knives
At a gun fight.
Useless unless you know what you are doing.
False pretense in a world lost to itself chewing deeper into the madness of societies chaos.
I think the God would be ashamed of us. Such lyrical genius and misspent youth climbing the walls of Babylon only to fall to their deaths in a sea of despair.
Woe does this heart break upon the rock of future past far to often.
As if to reclaim some sense of understanding as the memories of my life wash away in the sand of the Parkinsons sea.
Each grain Sand a thought, a wish, a dream lost or forgotten.
Such beautiful eyes does the night sky have and I’m sure here lips are soft as silk.
Goodnight moon and stars above take care of each other for there is nothing without love.