Watch “Marvins Room (Explicit)” and I wrote some stuff about the day . b 

It’s been the kind of day I’m really really glad of ly happen every 5-6 years. What a fucking nightmare. Insurance review with an independent Dr. This guy’s f’ing name on the door was held on by TAPE.. I actually told him I’m completely uncomfortable with this office,procedure and validity of what’s happening here.  The guys was an OT no offence to the occupational therapist of he world. Loves you ❤ but this guy was a fucking quack from hell cereal box doc. No foreknowledge of my very very complex medical history.  Me disabled especially in my iAdls area there alone trying to catch Dr Franken fuck up on 8 years of Parkinson’s disease and then explain the cancer and chemo damage on top……… I’m thinking  the whole time are you fucking kidding me??? I can’t even remember what happened yesterday half the time what day it is or if I’ve eaten that day….. let’s just say FUCK MY NERVES ARE DONE. Time to crawl under a rock and forget. I think at one point I actually looked straight at the guy and said “do you know fucking anything about Parkinson’s disease? ” Yeah I don’t think he appreciated that one 😲😧 anyhow there you go my day…

Cheers Benjamin.  Never give up on your dreams. 2017 #myshakylife 

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Kind Sir-Growth

This armor has grown heavy. This sword dull to bone as I. Born to protect, serve in honor and without fear. I’ve lost this in life all I have and more.. Bits of stuff and coin really as the time rolls bye. But the loss hope and heart looms closer than before. The darkness grows with heart to come home and no home to put a heart. To accept love is one of the hardest lessons in life, to give it, the same yet the rewards of an honest life will eventually fruit into the dreams of today. The End.

benjamin-2017

Midnight muse

I find you here after so many years gone bye. I first came here for answers in the ethers of the night sky whilst running scared from a future yet made. A path i now feel somehow always connected to. Though time clearly runs short. I can see the fear in their eyes. I have a growing awareness of self and lack of self symotaneously. I see my path so clearly but i can’t hear the tonal inflection of my own voice. Or find the sands between the sands
These trials of faith,friend,family and foe have truly exhausted this body and mind. Tis with midful wisdom i bare the grief of my sins, a cross i shall always carry. It is with this weight i hope to spend my end days in only good grace of God,nature and science. In love with love to be loved and give of it freely. This life for me has nothing if i have nothing to give and it is with these last words i close my eyes and dream of a life free of pain, loss and regret. A weightless dream of hope soaring high above all…

The end.
benjamin.2017