After a few years of healing and trying to put myself in a safe environment,I finally received some information about my son. He’s safe , happy and healthy according to M. My ex-wife. Sadly though the one person ,my son, that kept me fighting Parkinson’s and cancer wants nothing to do with me. To me this is the end. I’ve nothing to live for.
Good bye and be well.
*** to those that read this I’m sorry but I can’t explain what it’s like to loss everything one has ever worked for. For reasons beyond my famlies control we were not strong enough to survive my onset of Parkinson’s and during the course of my cancer treatments and the recovery I never received . The abuse I suffered at the hands of those whom should have helped. Losing everything physical in the mere 25 days I was there has been something I haven’t recovered from. Now with my son’s estrangement love is to much burden. I have a few friends and a caregiver , a partner and an dog. I’ll be sending out the few paintings to ppl I have addresses for and a few shoe box sized packages of things I was able to take from AZ. Pictures of my kids and grandparents, wedding photos and the early “good years” I know I won’t be must by many and to the few that stuck by my side through it all you know where I’ll be. I’ll probably not post anywhere anymore. Much love and thanks for the many years of love and support through what has been the worst years of my life.
Benjamin m Prewitt
Darling, I pray you’ve had a small change of heart that keeps a wee bit of meaning to life itself, despite your searing losses. 🙏💕
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I see your words leave silence that is a sign you are heard and pain is hard to hear, loss even harder. They will come just as I found you tonight. Look at that moon high in the sky. Imagine it’s live bathing the lands and small animals as they go out to hunt their dinner. Eat, sleep, there are some still here and tonight I am. Count on it.
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Sad to read this. It is hard to understand why your son doesn’t want anything with you, and I understand your hurt and disappointment, but you should not put such a responsibility on your child, it is a very heavy burden to be responsable of someonelse’s life.
Maybe you should give your child time to process all the situation you all have been through, because if it has been difficult for you, you should understand that for your family it has been also an exhausting process, due to the sadness, worry, and anguish they have been feeling by seeing that someone that they love is sick and they cannot do anything other than hoping for your health and happiness. If it is difficult for adults to go through that experience, imagine how it could be for a child that sould be playing and have fun.
I know that in the future your child will be looking for you, he will want to know about you. You just have to give him time to understand and process all the situation, and that day will be magical for both of you.
Please, have faith and be brave for your child.
It’s hard to face the fact that he lost belief in me or that I somehow wasn’t able to give him the stability I should have been able too. Cancer and circumstances as they were being a key aspect of my life. I can only hope he finds me some day. While I still have the chance and abilities to appreciate the man I’m sure he’s become. He was ,is the light of my life and the end of bloodline .
Having faith and being brave for my child is all I’ve ever done. From the time my ex-wife told me she was pregnant. The hardy thing I’ve ever done is facing the fact that I gave my entire life up to give my family everything I didn’t have and when I needed them most I was left alone, ask to leave and abandoned. Going through life without the love and support of a family I created or the love of my children is a burden I simply don’t know how much longer I can carry. I’ve lost everything and more.
Don’t loose hope. I think your life will be better and there is a further way. It is not an end. Maybe some time your son will think about it again and he will talk to you. Your art is great and it is still with you, you are not alone. Your life is beautiful with your art!