And then

And then came the tears. I woke restless and tired from the night before. Chased by images of us that I foolishly dreamnt up. Long walks, pictures of a future untold hopes and dreams. Then came tears warm and soft as I woke, sitting at the edge of my wondering how I had let myself fall so low. How have I become so low to think of myself to deserve such treatment.

How could I have lowered my values in myself to be in this place. Am I not worthy of love? Have I become so tormented that only the darkness in other broken souls seeks me out to drink from me the very essence of the life and house I have to offer in my dying days. A decade doesn’t seem long to wait to fade away after a thousand, thousands sleeps. These tears help wash away the bruises you left upon my heart . As those waves of lost hopes and dreams float away inner light turns to the mornings dawn as I breathe deeply…..

Soft music of the morning trains roll through my bedroom window and I’m back…. Im back to this shell of a body with a lions heart. Face wet from tears and lost thoughts of you… The hole slowly closes in my gut, I wipe the tears from my nose…. Gather my thoughts, my headphones and paint brushes.. it’s time sing a new song, paint an new day, foolishly fall in love with a flower or two as I skip down hallways in my head. Reading the billions of thoughts that float through my hearts heart. Tasting the colours of the day.

I will will always love, love for you can not give what you can not be. And I will forever times forever be in love with thee. Could be us, you and me.

**A dark romantic drama**

Benjamin~2018

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