Before this….

When you lose everything, the simplest things become the most important things. A beautiful flower, a gentle breeze. Perhaps even the simplest of things like being able walk or old a full conversation without forgetting the topic. Before this I was and now I just am. Everything is gone,beyond my wildest dreams has everything I ever wanted as a child been ripped from me. Everything I worked a life time to nurture, love and tenderly grow, gone.

Before this I felt alive…. Now I just wait and waste with the time with whore and false profits. Even the most vile of God’s creatures need to feel loved. At times, like now I feel that these burdens of life are to much and to what end.? Simply a test of will or courage of my strength in the light…. Haven’t I shined brightly for you… Given you everything…?

Before all this there was hope I my eyes, a spring to my step and laughter in my heart. Those things are gone. Now my luminous heart is cold, my blue eye are backed with fire and darkness. This Cupid’s bow now shoots arrows of disgust at the world. It’s a bitter apple in that poison tree.

Please release me from these bonds, take my armor it’s worn and rusted. Take these wings for their feathers have dusted. Please, Oh Please I beg of you take, take for God sake this heart, this soul,. This body for they are busted.

Before this, before you and all of these things that life brings… I was happy, I was whole.

B-2018

Midnight write.

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