Such a struggle over the years to her. Keep her safe, dry and warm. Keep her watered and groomed in every fashion. Over the years I’ve found since you’ve been gone I can’t do it all I can’t make things right and I can’t continue down this path of destruction any longer. I’m setting my soul free as youve set me.

No longer will this burden be mine. This tree has grown old and cold. Brittle to the touch and tired. A constant drift wishing only if peace and security. For the love and kindness of days gone by. As we’ve grown older and more cynical we cling to the beliefs that make us comfortable in our life choices. Well what if ones wrong? I’ve learned and am learning to be open again, admit my faults when confronted with them. I am human I am guilty of human faults.

These words…..

They drip like old paint from rusted can, thin and translucent. I am tired of always feeling like it’s a set back instead of a foot forward. Now this house those memories and times will fade away like all the bitter Sweet tears of the last five years….. Kismit the say and much to my dismay tis true, everything you do will come back at you.

*****Just writing, not thinking or drinking. Just writing to work out th demons. Yes the house is being sold and everyone will be done and gone. Fairyland is just a memory. I’m not what the future holds for me in this life. I keep on being stripped of all my worldly possessions, now including most of my clothes, furniture and a lifetime of memories. I’m fearful of what the universe has in store for a man with nothing but good intentions and a broken soul. I guess we shall see. 12-13-2018 is end date, I shall be gone far prior. Much love and light.

Benjamin.