Home again and packing

10:30 am pst 3/21/18

PET scan and blood work ordered. We shall see if I’m cancer Free, remission or not. Per my last CT it showed a shadow that had remained unchanged from the very first time they found the cancer. They say my throat looks good, the standard amount of scarring and tissue damage. They are going to have me see a swallow specialist who can help me fix some issues I’ve been having keeping food from going into my lungs. So today what do I know???

Nothing lol

I do know I’m tired, heart sick and ready to give up the fight. The thing people don’t get, is how hard it really is to live with Parkinson’s disease and how really hard it is to recover from radiation and chemo treatments. I’ve been told it takes years and people treat me like I’m supposed to just snap to it and be better. It’s a joke a sad sad joke how judgmental and ignorant people can be. Anyhow I’m done. Be well and I hope to continue to paint as I can. Don’t know where or when I’ll be moving but it’ll happen in the next few months. Why stay in a town that doesn’t care? To much pain here in Salem especially after the trauma with Stephanie and losing the connection between my son and I. No more, no more pain, crying and saying I’m sorry for things that didn’t happen. Looking forward to the next week off from the doctors. I’ll be sleeping, packing and painting.

Over and out.

Benjamin

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