Tired

You’ve taken my strength and when I needed your support you left and now I’m so angry that I’ve Left. I’m tired and need to rest and restore my soul. I cannot fight for you, if all you do is . fight against me. I’m here to lift you up but you’ve made the weight to great for even me to understand. I give and give until there is nothing left. Who is filling my cup, or is this all just a game? Sadly this world has shown and taught you the ways of lies and decit. The ways of tricks and half truths. A land where nobody is accountable for their actions so nobody really cares about the truth. Well I care or did, now all I feel is numb. Hurt, frustrated and confused. How can I win in this life if everything I do is deemed worthless and you refuse and or will never possess the ability to understand or learn what is right and correct,proper in this life. I can’t do this anymore, you’ve broken me one last time. I will return to a life of darkness in the light. This name is cursed and I care for it no more for you’ve taken all my light. I should have known you couldn’t give what you truly never have recieved, love simple and pure. I was yours now I am not. I’m going to give in, give up my house, my home town and be done. I’ve lost my son,the life I wanted, the place and space to do my Art, I’ve lost the financial support I very thoughtfully put into place when I could still think clearly. Every single time I have tried to”get it right” since Parkinson’s disease and cancer destroyed my life I have failed.

Find me here find me there I don’t care I am done. I’m not painting and you are creating this monster and I can’t win I can’t fight against you and for you at the same time. No more words this says it all quite clearly I can’t live without love and with Parkinson’s disease at the same time, yet I can’t seem to live with it either.. so I guess I’ll do neither. Good bye.

Benjamin M Prewitt 1970-2018

#myshakylife

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Tired

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.