When asked what did i miss most;

i’d have to say… My life.. David Byrn got it right in the classic “Once in a lifetime.” and how did i get here.”

seems to be a reaccuring theme I’ve noticed as my mind and body fall deeper into this pit of Parkinson’s disease. Harder to explain my thoughts as focus fades. I’m finding it easier to just stop caring and trying than continue to ruin whats left of this life. Nothing lasting or truly good for my soul has come into my life and stayed since the very day i was dx with parkisons disease 11-07-11 and here on the eve of my 1 year living with cancer and surviving my battle through cancer treatment; Cancer dx 11-5-16 45 radiation sessions and 20? Chemo ?? Happy anniversary cancer you fucking bitch. Might as well take the rest of my life. Bit of advice for thise if you listening. Never let the doctors make lite, sure Parkinsons disease doesnt kill you…. It simply destroys your life before your very eyes. Sends you into a slow dementia like hell as your body slow comes to a jerky confused fucking bag of skin and bones.. Then quietly in the middle of the night ( my heart ) spirit, mind and body will break and i…. I will be gone.

When asked what do i miss most… The answer will always be, life.

Benjmain 2017 on the 5th day of 11th month in the year 2017 these words were written. #myshakylife