It has been almost a year since true hell came to my doorway and looked down upon my face. Gave a huge smile and said your mine for the next 5 five years. Cancer fucking sucks. I thought Parkinson’s disease was enough, but man i lost so much muscle and the chemo messed my head and nervous system up so bad.. Seriously there are some things that one can’t quantify truly until you’ve lived through them. I’ve been shown the kindness of strangers and the disengaugement of family. Witnessed good families fall apart and bad ones turn good again. Loved ones passed while friends faded and fluxed. I find these days a friend is only as good as they are on their worst day. That is depth of a friendship I’ve found.
As my carer likes to kid with know that Ive gotten “old” Ha!!! Not even 5o yet 😎🎨🎉 As I’ve found as I’ve matured that wisdom gives me site but Parkison’s has made me emotionally blind or hypersensitve to my desires, paint, music,companionship food, love, sex, ect…. The Agnosia plays a tricky little bugger in the mix because it takes foresite away. So where one person may think jumping in that tank of hungry sharks sounds like a bad idea. My brain is a tad more likely to think…hmmmm. It might be okay or hmmm I’ve never done that before might as well before PD or Cancer finishes me off. But in reality getting eaten by sharks is like my hugest fear ever lol. Sooo yeah. Life with Parkinson’s disease has been a trip. A true test of heart and faith. Always chasing an ever changing disease with drugs that are just as bad as the disease ie; side-effects. Anyhow i hope that love and peace find you in this life time. Do truly cherish those close to you eachday. Be as present in your life as possible and if your living a life you don’t want to live then your not really living your just alive. I myself with my ever shinking circle of mobility and friendships chose to live right here right now. For yesterday is gone and tomorrow is never promsied for death as life often comes unannounced.
All my love Always.