I come here so infrequent these days. Im sorry for that. I’ve come to fear here to be honest.  Here is where im the most truthful with myself and others. Here is where i bare my soul with no hold backs no filters of friendly or happy person here is where i say it all. Im afraid of my life. My left arm and leg are failing. My son is gone, lost to his mothers control and perceptions of my life and choices. Sigh….. Im so tired of this battle some days. Today was spent focusing on my brace fitting. A very positive thing yes? Kind of, if your a fix it person then yes. If your the patient not so much.. why you may ask,. Well heres the skinny. That guy and that leg calf foot… whatever he has a diagnosis. ITS PARKINSONS DISEASE and that f’ed up left leg and arm well im the guy who wakes up daily hoping that they still work i have a name and a story. Yes btw it was the radiation treatment that fried my nerves. Yes it’s okay bc otherwise it’s cancer time and i literally don’t have time to mess around with that. 

Breathing would probably help i’m thinking…. so yeah its been a big day. I cherish you all dearly.

Namaste
Benjamin
“A life in progress.”