Walk with me~Be warned this is very very real.

Week 10: They tell you when  you start radiation treatment and chemotherapy that they are progressive, they build over time in your system. Nothing can never compare or prepare you for the experience. Nothing I think of truly in the human mind can fathom what it’s like to go through, especially alone. Today I’m going to take you on a gentle but horrific walk through one day in week 10, two weeks after my radiation and chemotherapy stopped.
2:00AM PST
*back story no driver today, no treatment just me. Alone.
Waking in cold sweats dizzy from the tsnuami of nausua im not even aware of yet. Woken from the sleel.by the searig lain my throat as the bile begins to seep from my stomach washing its way ovwr ghw the aecond and third degree burns caised on the inside of throat by the radiation treatment. Then comes the spins then the floor as crash to me knees then face plant into my slippery vomit. Dragging myself to cool of the bathroom floor praying to god and weeping in pain as my life and mind spin wildly out of control.
Hours later i wake stiff from the Parkinson’s body aching in way and places i can’t even explain or have come to terms with.
Thank you for lettig me share this very private and personal momemt. Someday i’ll be strong enough to tell the whole story.
“Be brave, Be bold snd Thrive in the life you have.” You never when things can change.


30 thoughts on “Walk with me~Be warned this is very very real.

  1. You know I’m not often speechless, this has managed that rarity. There’s still some spoons left in my arsenal, so take them, use them as you will and find some beauty in this day. Love and light to you Ben xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all of this alone. Seems like they would have some agency or group that has volunteers to stay with you. Have you filed for disability yet. There has got to be someone there who can at least check in on you and spend some time. My heart is with you! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • My dear friend. I do so hope you are well. I still remember the nights of sheer hell in the early days of my Parkinson’s. You’ve been with me for the whole thing😥😥 first stages of PD, divorce, travel, cancer and now here we are 5 years later. I do pray to the heaven that your heart and mind are kept well. Always your friend. Always your Phoenix Rising. Much love and life to you. Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

    • Charlotte, good to hear from you. Well i survived what hopfully was the worst. Working on strength, balance and fighting off Parkinsons disease. You stay safe over there okay. I need to hear you live at least once in my life :). Always Benjamin.


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