Week 10: They tell you when you start radiation treatment and chemotherapy that they are progressive, they build over time in your system. Nothing can never compare or prepare you for the experience. Nothing I think of truly in the human mind can fathom what it’s like to go through, especially alone. Today I’m going to take you on a gentle but horrific walk through one day in week 10, two weeks after my radiation and chemotherapy stopped.
2:00AM PST
*back story no driver today, no treatment just me. Alone.
Waking in cold sweats dizzy from the tsnuami of nausua im not even aware of yet. Woken from the sleel.by the searig lain my throat as the bile begins to seep from my stomach washing its way ovwr ghw the aecond and third degree burns caised on the inside of throat by the radiation treatment. Then comes the spins then the floor as crash to me knees then face plant into my slippery vomit. Dragging myself to cool of the bathroom floor praying to god and weeping in pain as my life and mind spin wildly out of control.
Hours later i wake stiff from the Parkinson’s body aching in way and places i can’t even explain or have come to terms with.
Thank you for lettig me share this very private and personal momemt. Someday i’ll be strong enough to tell the whole story.
B-2017
“Be brave, Be bold snd Thrive in the life you have.” You never when things can change.
Expressions of my life - An evolution of art. 
I don’t know what to say. Please hang in there.
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Thank you my friend, for many years now. I am over the worst o it so far and getting stronger every day
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Oh, Benjamin. My sympathy is infinite. I’ve been there emotionally from some of my health symptoms but not like these (apart from being sick) so actually, I can empathise not just sympathise. x
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I’m sorry you had to experience these things, nobody should have to go through this alone
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You know I’m not often speechless, this has managed that rarity. There’s still some spoons left in my arsenal, so take them, use them as you will and find some beauty in this day. Love and light to you Ben xx
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Thank you
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and still you rise.
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Everyday ⚓️
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Oh my lovely that sounds like pure hell. I wish I could give you the right words to help. X
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Thank you friend, really its a message to the world about kindness and strength
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Can’t even begin to imagine, dear friend. {{{Hug}}} ❤ xx
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Thank you for your kindness. Hopefully someone else won’t have to as well
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You are very strong in sharing that moment with us. Amazing. Hugs to you. 💜
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Thank you for reading
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Jeez, that’s unimaginably awful, Ben; so sorry to read of such torment and pain. Hugs from Glastonbury. xxxx
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Thank you but it’s okay. People should know what it’s like to go through something like this
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Actually, I entirely agree with you on this one, Ben. We tend, as a species, to bury our heads in the sand and to shut out the signs of great suffering. Good for you being willing to confront and share it with the world. xxx
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Thank you my friend
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xxx
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I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all of this alone. Seems like they would have some agency or group that has volunteers to stay with you. Have you filed for disability yet. There has got to be someone there who can at least check in on you and spend some time. My heart is with you! ❤️
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Yes my friend this was just a recount of what I went through this last holiday season and I’ve been disabled with Parkinson’s disease since 2012 retired not working
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I am sorry, Benjamin. I watched my mother go through this treatment and it is Hell.
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Yeah it wasn’t fun, I’m so sorry your mother experienced this as well.
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Much love & light, dear B. Continue your journey back to better days, releasing this trauma to the stars. They can absorb the pains we cannot. xx
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My dear friend. I do so hope you are well. I still remember the nights of sheer hell in the early days of my Parkinson’s. You’ve been with me for the whole thing😥😥 first stages of PD, divorce, travel, cancer and now here we are 5 years later. I do pray to the heaven that your heart and mind are kept well. Always your friend. Always your Phoenix Rising. Much love and life to you. Benjamin
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I know time flies, no matter what! Stay in the light, my friend. I am doing well, ups and downs as always but life seems to give us what we need to grow. Such fun! 😕 xx
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Very scary, stay strong 💛💜
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Charlotte, good to hear from you. Well i survived what hopfully was the worst. Working on strength, balance and fighting off Parkinsons disease. You stay safe over there okay. I need to hear you live at least once in my life :). Always Benjamin.
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Thank You for sharing this with us. Oh, just so hard. Sending strength and holding space for you. Keep hanging in there.
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Life is short, and this article saved vabluale time on this Earth.
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