10 yrs

Sometimes i wish it had been me. Dads been gone 10 years today. They say ot gets easier over time. I say bullshit. Its easier day to day to focus on other things but when the thoughts  creep in my stomach hurts, eyes tear up and the memories come waves of joy and fear

 Loss and longing. The desire to garner some advice from my father. A few words, what do I do Dad? Everything is so fuck up. I went of track how can get it back? Dad why os the world so mean, wht are people so affraid of eachother. I still have a childs curious mine. I truly don’t understand why we manipulate eachother with promise and lies. Why do we not simply just love. Why war, why figh? Two things I’m not proud to be very good at but Im also full of love and kindness, why, why am i a walking Paradox. Why can i hear peoples thoughts, why can i feel there pain. Do plants know my name too? Gosh I’ve so many questions. I had 5 normal years in my life when Dad and JK were together from ages 3-8 that i must say is starting to feel like a dream i had and less of a reality i lived. 

Anyhow. If you have people in your life that need forgiveness or to be told they are loved. Don’t wait. Time and life is short, embrace love in your life.

B.2017 “a life in progress.”


2 thoughts on “10 yrs

  1. Hi Benjamin, seems like we have Maytime loss of a parent in common. I was just writing about my mother who died on May 31, 2009. I agree that time doesn’t make a lot of difference. It’s good to have them to remember ~ I was very lucky in having Mother until she was 88 and we were close as close could be.
    Your father sounds extremely interesting.


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