Today has been hard. I’ve been without my normal pain meds and honestly off on my pd med schedule for a week or so. Along with a huge list of life crap im falling behind on. It’s one of the hardest pill to swallow and I should know lol I take a grip of them daily. The thing that’s hard is I’m getting to the point where I need that person to be here daily to help with dsy to day needs. The doctors say it’s not memory but attention span. But really whats the difference if I can’t focus long enough to store new info and can’t focus long enough to retrieve the memories and information I need to actively engage and participate in my “grown up life” it is really frustrating right now in my head. Im not depressed nor fearful. Im tired of being broken, Im tired of being in pain and being forgetful to the point of embarrassment. Todays pain reminded me of just how fucking messed up this body has become. So maybe im sad a little bit or maybe im just sad writing it down. Because I guess it is a sad thing and maybe a hard thing to watch.. Me slowly dying of the effects of pd on the body. Since they say PD isnt fatal. Guess that means that falling off a cliff isn’t fatal LOL its just the sudden stop that kills you. Sorry for the morbid humor.
Well i need to post this before I lose track of it. More short posts to come. tbc…..
P.S. looking for an admin assistant to help clean up the site get things up to date and do the standard proof reading for all my posts. Also need someone to start the brave work of reading of both my sites and pulling works for the book….yes book…. Hands failing gotta go.
“Be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have.”