When I’m gone. *written by a writer,poet,painter.

It’s always sadddest when we have to leave. Especially after spending so much time together. But it will be okay you’ll see . In time I’ll be come nothing but a scent in the breeze, a fleeting thought that gets lost in the wind yet lingers for just a second to long. Once I’m gone you won’t have to pretend that I’m not here,  you won’t have to live with the pain of my memory, once in gone… 

Once I’m gone you can walk without worry or the regret of running into me. No awkward moments just forgetful bliss, once I’m gone.                                 Every man has his point of no return and this light has grown tired of the struggle. Maybe it’s the meds talking or the Parkinson’s disease or perhaps the cancer. But I’ve lost all and with all that I’ve lived through since a child I’m so tired of feeling everything at once. I slowly look at what’s left over from this life I’ve tried to live the only way I know how and all I see is empty. All I feel is empty,  I’ve no home just a house and soon just a room. I’ve not the love of my children or brothers dear. All the things and family I spent a lifetime cultivating, loving ,nurturing and growing have left and are gone. As a man who was raised and lived ,still lives his life as a giver this is and was the final straw. 

Once I’m gone none of this will matter and you won’t have to pretend I’m here and I won’t have to remember that I lost it all. 

These word hold so much truth and pain I wish I could explain. But know one can imagine losing everything until they do. So until the next time.

Benjamin. 

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10 thoughts on “When I’m gone. *written by a writer,poet,painter.

    • Thank you. I’m sorry. I just can’t bare the emotional pain I’m living in right now. Healing from the cancer treatment alone and realizing it really was true. Virtually none of my friends or people I thought were my friends or family came to my aid. So im struggling with what purpose does this knight , warrior and healer do know that I’ve failed every thing I’ve tried over the last 5 years including a nearly 17 yr marriage. Again sorry to be so real. Much love and light. B

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