One down 29 to go

Well …hi, I hope the treated you well, was kind and embraced you.. I learned so much stuff I can’t even begin to explain. I got my piic put in.  It’d a tupelo thing I get to wear all the time.  I wasn’t really prepared mentally for the procedure but feel like I did pretty good. They suited  (two nurses) up in surgical gear and proceeded to slip a tube up my vein,artery? I’m not sure. Vein I think is the  correct term.

I have 5 wires whatever that means but I’ve been assured they’ll all be taken out lol.  

It’s a bit uncomfortable to be honest . Apparently it stays with me and if my throat needs a rest then a feeding tube will be brought into equation. 

Today was my first 1 of 30 radiation therapy sessions. Can’t say it was the most awesome thing. First there’s the face mask and fact that I’m literally fastened the to the table. There’s a whole new level of clostriphobic experience involved in this process but I’ve mentioned I’m simply letting this experience wash over me.  

I’ve fed and am tucking myself in to bed.  Gotta say coming home to an empty house was odd. Sure my phones been blowing up but it yeah never mind. No  complaining. I love you all very much. I hope that arength,love a day kindness fill your hearts so you may fill others.

Always b.

Day two  ones today. 

11 thoughts on “One down 29 to go

  1. well i’m just not going to ‘like’ this… but you are being very brave. it must be terribly uncomfy to have that in your arm but guess it’s better than your chest. that’s where i thought they usually put them.

    i am very happy you have people caring for you. or at least checking in on you. soon this will be behind you and you will be ok. i am sure they will cure whatever ails you… since that’ s the point of it all. sigh……..

    take care. we are all out here pulling for you. you are in my thoughts as we approach this ghastly holiday… well, my opinion since i’ve had not one wink of sleep and perhaps am a bit bitchy. aw well, there’s worse things. like living in alleppo…

    keep us informed, k? xoxoxox linda

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey tou my angel friend youve every reason to complain. Im trying to ne brave and really im scared shitless but nobody likes a whiner. And its cancer what can i do but fall in line or face this witout a fulltine human and science . Im not that brave. If i had the faith i shoukd have then id wake uo tomorrow and be healed. But my gravity is all fucked up these days i cant see the geart straight anymore. I find im jaded and pissed more often than not. Its not good emotional behavior. Which i think traslates into a pretty grumpy real life B, people have just been so brutal in my real life. Unforgiving fucks if i may be blunt. So i preach love, kindness, patience and forgivness because they are the traits i need to regain in myself , if tht makes any sense. I have no spiritual friends here anymore and you know me you know my soul and how deeply that hurts me every second…. Blah.. Sorry ive over spoken. Much love my old friend. I hope you are getting the support you need and your health has improved. My apologies fir not asking more often. Always. benjamin


  2. The Like is just to show that more people care than you may know. And many more don’t dare to kind of “like” it because they also care … so … however … best wishes … you’re really brave, no this is not the right word … well, there are no words anymore. But wishes for you … so many good wishes for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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