Fear:476

I fear…I have not the strength to carry this burden.

I fear….. that I’ve lost before I’ve started and fail myself without even knowing it.

I fear ….. my Parkinson’s will be so bad after cancer I won’t want to live. .

I fear. …that I won’t be able to speak again or eat solid food.kiss a woman, feel a warm embrace. ..

I fear… I will be so full of hate after this curse that I will be the darkness I fear most…

I fear that I have lost my way completely and I face this oni in its home not mine. 

I fear that I will never truly see love the way I did. Shiny and new, I fear that this curse has mortally wounded the once fearful yet happy child me to the point where all truths are tainted with blood and tears of years of mistrust and loss. 

I fear I have seen the ugliest humanity has to show me in this life.when we leave we always leave something behind. This time it was me, my soul, my value as a human tossed aside. That I’ve never seen before…

I fear that I will lose my strength and like these tears of fireb that run down my face hitting the floor before another human sees their pain. 

I fear that with this fight I will fear nothing, for I will feel nothing and for an artist to run grey is to swallow the sunshine and have it forever fade away… that my dear is what I fear. 

The end.

B.2016

“A life in crisis”

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10 thoughts on “Fear:476

  1. Dear Lord, I ask you to heal my friend. Thiss disease is not from you but the enemy. I cast it out in Jesus Name and release a full healing. By your stripes we are healed. Let it be done according to your Word in Jesus Name.

    Like

  2. Ok, my friend and fellow medicine maker has got his move from Oregon to California done. I want to hook you two up. He has PD, and won the battle against cancer twice. No chemo or radiation. But he certainly would know your mind better than anyone. And he too has been single a long time.

    Liked by 1 person

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