Waiting is the hardest part.

Did you know that in cancer land there is this thing called scan anxiety. Who knew. Apparently because I’ve so many tests coming up with this new adventure through cancer land that waiting for scan results starts to become a huge source of stress. Of course it’s easy to understand why its stressful. I’ll be waiting on answers that are life sustaining critical.

Anyhow as we head towards the middle of the week my tension is mounting. Today I’m up in Portland Oregon at OHSU at the transitions center, it’s a very compitent neuropsycology center. I’ll be taking an extensive test to help see where are how far my cognitive impairment has changed since my DX of Parkinson’s in 2011. Then I’m off to see a social worker at OHSU for a good ole fashion wtf is going on with my life session. 
The most huge point of stress right now is waiting on what type of cancer I have. 😦😦😦 that will determine what course of action if any is needed. On a positive but based in really statement. I really pray to god that the cancer was caught before it was to far advanced. I should be finding out today or tomorrow.

Well then that’s the health update on me. On another topic. And I know this is going to sound odd. But assuming that I survive cance, America just elected Mr.Trump as president. Ummmm, anybody in Canada or the UK feel like sponsoring a potentially fleeing artist.? Really. The way things are going here there is a good chance that after cancer and after my son turns 18 in (July) 2017 that I will be looking to settle down out of the US. 

Anyhow food for though. I’m off to start the next adventure of a life time. Be good and try to hold your head high. Today is a brand new day. Much love and light.

B. 2016
“A life in progress.”

16 thoughts on “Waiting is the hardest part.

  1. I am a survivor of a rather advanced melanoma – clear for many years now. You CAN get through this. Deep breaths – and a lot of focus on anything ELSE!

    I’m with you on fleeing the country, however. I’m not so confident that we’ll be able to survive the coming malignancy — the mess that slightly over 50% of the country – reactionary voters all – just forced the rest of us to have to deal with.
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kindness. I’m finding it very helpful to hear from people who have been through similar situations and lived to talk about it. Very reassuring 😄 as far as the country goes, makes me nervous, if anything it’s going to test the checks and balance of the system that’s for sure. Again thank you, truly. Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are most welcome — especially since the election, those of us with health challenges (physical or mental) must be increasingly willing to step up and support one another. I fear we’ll find less and less understanding from our government officials in the next 4 years.

        I, too, am worried — especially that our system of checks and balances might not survive what’s coming. Scary times.

        Liked by 1 person

      • UNfortunately. Control – or purchase? I worry that, with billions, one can buy practically anything – no matter what is likely to follow once the money changes hands.

        PLEASE GOD – touch their souls and wake up their politically obsessed, money motivated brains – and give them the courage to vote NO.

        Liked by 1 person

      • BREATHE, and listen to the scientists – who need to seriously step up and educate.

        T’s most recent comment about his intention to stir up the vaccine controversy AGAIN is frightening beyond belief.

        Just what this country needs – a science-illiterate with huge megaphone, hell-bent on dividing the populace to distract us from whatever else he is up to. By all means, let’s bankrupt the country by building a wall. Ask Scotland – this man-child loves his walls — actual and metaphoric.


        Liked by 1 person

      • A focus on love, kindness, understanding community support & healing must be our shields as the days advance. Those, and prayer seem to be the tools with which we have to work for the next few years.

        I have never never really relied on “a power greater than myself” as much as the actions of those of us tasked to work here on earth, but I have recently been forced to admit that many of us will be rendered “powerless” in the face of what’s likely to come.

        I pray that cooler heads will prevail, that scientists and those with a focus beyond “just business” will be given powerful seats at the table, that kinder hearts will survive, and that the checks and balances of government will work their magic.

        Sending thoughts of healing and calm your way.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You really do have a way, your insight and wisdom are so very appreciatd. I to jave always nelieved in th work at hand and have had the pleasure of training and mentoring so many great people in my life in business and the likes. But i have always carrie faith since i can remeber. Again may all your day be bright ones.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Benjamin, you have my best of best wishes in hoping the treatment is successful. More people survive cancer than ever before and the number is growing. As for Trump, I think even he was surprised he won. Depending on how the coin flip in his head goes, he will either destroy everything Obama has done, or he will take a good look at himself and think about his legacy as POTUS down the line and how History will see him. His ego may take over and decide to do some good instead – I really hope he does :0)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: Can you hear them NOW? | ADD . . . and-so-much-more

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