I find myself here again a place where the darkness it finds me, relentless, chasing me everywhere I go. I try so dearly yet it feeds me,keeps me warm then burns me just enough to make me afraid of what I face everyday. The loneliness of this life. Forever empty in just one spot. Always giving,asking “what I think is so little for what I offer.”Yet a fool I was born and fool i’ll die it seems. Young at heart you might say always hungry to live another day.
I’ve tried to grow actively everyday focusing on the big and small things of my souls defects. Giving birth to a new me each day. So wicked are these transitions that we hide in daylight with Whispers like a song left unwritten…. This heart and mind knows your soul. Sees your inner fear and rage. Shear white light rage of how could you and why don’t you see me am I not good enough……. Walks away..cold into the night only to return a shell of what was, bitter dangerous like the jungle fruit of the Amazon.
Now we wait, the sails in motion, no wind so strong can turn the tides of this ship as we set forth on this second adventure of out lives. I shake in fear inside as we leave the shore and the land slowly slips away….. Sink or swim this fight or flight responds echoes in my head. Wonders who and hoe. Where and when, why???? Why again, why now, why not. Screams in my mind as search for clues of misdirection…… I only ever saw you happy once. But now I wonder if you’ve ever been happy or simply have picked the path of least resistance. This alter is high as it towers over the rest. I’ve placed it here for all to see yet sadly it’s a picture never signed, never sealed or betrothed. Just another admittance of love spilled like milk on the kitchen floor when everyone’s asleep……like a bridge over troubled water….I stand strong, hold back the tides and flowing with the currents of time. I’m watching and waiting,show me what you intend….. Break not this heart you weak shelter in, burn not our home away from home as this passion blinds all from the truths truth.
Some words, strung together in hopes my heart can be heard and words read with time and patience will grow into the life tree of the futures dream or slip silently into the night from whence they came . The end.
“a life in progress.”