Lifting the veil.

There comes a time in every life where one faces the thought of mortality. It may be of their own, your parents or child. But that time will come and when it does it will be as heavy as it is. Each person has a personal perception of what they can carry, which of lifes burdens can be carried and which can not. Some things that have been on my mind as of late. The weight of being or not being. The weight of choice or not choosing. The realities that these choices or lack there of do effect,some that are personal and go unnoticed by everyone and some that are drastic and get judged by the world. 

Lifting the veil:

There was a time when I stood behind you
blindly and watched the world from the safety
of your comfort.
then life came and took you away
showed me the truth in my life
and the lies of my past.
forced me to be a man amongst men
yet as but a boy i failed to see
what the world would be.
if i was you and you were me.
what choices would you make
just where would your heart be?
As a child the fever came for me.
it took my breath away gave me the madness
that dwells deep in my soul.
no child see deaths face so soon and closely after
just being kissed by angels without getting a little burned

it feels as though god has been trying
to take me back home for years.

*what kills you makes you dead
and the rest just makes you tired.
sorry to let the truth show.*

I write from a very unforgiving place a place of no color ,just baited breath. who will go next, who will, what will, why did and how come. these are words ive learned to master yet never understood the reasons why.

why do we self make such heartache of this life
these mortal choices meant to enrich this paradise planet of
human experience. Of love,laughter and everythinig inbetween.?

We  become trapped behind this veil that steals time and changes
perspectives as the wolrd spins.
once i woke up from a dream i had.
i was healthy, i had a family that loved me, two cars and cats.
there was a job and friends, bbqs and swim lessons, first overnight gitters
and sleep-overs filled with fun.
there was gradutations and salutations
then the veil was lifted on us all.
the world was still spinniing so much time had gone by
where oh where did all of those years go dear god where AM I NOW…….
THEN I WAKE…. its cold in this house, ghosts live here with me .
ghost from my past, present and future meet here each day to cast
sufferage upon this mind….
ive only tasted bliss once…
it tasted sweet like the sunshine should just as loves embrace kisses the morning dew.
then all was gone….. the spell broken. time lost.
the veil had been pulled and eachday counted more than the next.
Eachday  a gift of sorrow filled joy. Each Day  a moment in time never to come back
oh if for once i could just rest my head and heart at the same time. then maybe all of this
nightmare of lifes trials will make sense in some strange and twisted way. 

Perhaps some penence for
misdeeds in a life forgotten but debts unpaid?
so many question.So little time. 

The end.

benjamin 2016. 

 

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