Into what darkness does this heart fall daily, as I remember the things that I’ve left behind or lost along the way.
The slow torturous burn of guilt and regret.
The tears of doubt and question that flow from the heart and soul.
Questions not of where I am but of how I got here.
Such woe lives deep in my heart and reminds me that I’m a drift in a sea of my own making yet forced upon me like
A pair of cement shoes.
Drifting…… Always drifting…. My heart, my mind and my soul.
To afraid to be hurt again and yet to afraid to climb this mountain alone….
*** pay no mind to the pain in these words. They are just words that fall from the sky and I try to catch them before they fall to the ground and are forever lost in the depths of my mind.
At this point in my Parkinson’s progression it’s taken most of my “working memory” to be honest I’m scared as hell. Parkinson’s disease has this not so lovely feature where it acts like many other disorders. That’s one of the reasons it’s so hard to diagnose.
Anyhow later this month I will be showing what hopefully will be a new collection at the OHSU Parkinson’s symposium.
“A life in progress”
Ps. I could use some prayers sent my way. They just discovered that there is something wrong with my thyroid normally I wouldn’t worry to much but life has a way of kicking my ass every single time I try to succeed. I see the endocrinologist today at 2p pst.
Much love and light.
The painting is a sneak peak of the background color and texture of my next project.