Questions~words and thoughts all in a line

*** often in the course of my day 6,7,8 times a day I am overwhelmed by emotion and thought. I call it “med-head” it’s a result of the Parkinson’s medication I take and I must say it’s just as bad as having PD. I’ve reached stage 2-3 in my pd progression making it harder to articulate my emotions through spoken word, see, pd effects muscle control and as a human we use or voice box, throat and diaphragm to control the tone of our voice… Well I don’t really have that anymore nor do I have the ability to consistently hear my own tone of voice. In crowds of people I end up being silent where once I was “the host” of the show. It pretty much sucks.
Reference source:
http://www.pdf.org/en/speech_problems_pd
Anyhow below is not other than a random string of thoughts, emotions and ideas tied to literally thousands of thoughts and emotions stemming from millions of “blips” that wander through my head. Cheers.
B.

Into what darkness does this once shining light go?
Or will it’s thoughts of what was consume the very makeup of it’s foundation?
Stuck….
Falling…….
Return….. Slip again…
Morals what are they if not a code to live by….?
Choices so many of them. I think life should come in multiple choice
Path A: a lifetime of working
Path B: a life of adventure
Path C: free spin 😉
Tired… So tired of the monster, so tired of the child…. So tired of the fear and pain and insecurities of life.
Whore…..
Why…..
Hate….
Sick…….
Tired…..
Alone……
Broken…….
Afraid ………
All strong words that come with strong emotions. The trust we give a person when we had them our hearts is immense. We are saying here I am for all I’m worth and all I’ve done to be here today. For better or worse I am a collage of all the things I’ve experienced. It’s a very vulnerable state~
Naked…..
Raw….
Truth…..
Hard…….
Afraid…..
Words come and go like the people in our lives…..
Some we like more than others, some we like a lot until we find out their inner secrets, demons and some we like more…….IMG_9932.JPG

Benjamin
2015
“A life in progress”

IMG_7733.JPG

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8 thoughts on “Questions~words and thoughts all in a line

  1. Love the painting! And your words resonate deeply Hun… In regards to emotions, people and life… Hence why I encourage you to get someone to help you do a book please… Of your Art, your journey with PD and your Poetry… I think if not for yourself personally – because your expression if very good, for other PD people, then do it for your son as a guide to your views on life!?! Hugs my friend xox

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Ben,
    Here I sit bawling my eyes out.Yes, PD sucks, as does MS, Cancer, Leukemia & dementia.All of the above have taken friends from me, & family. I can relate to the voice thing. I was trying to call FedEx this a.m. He was very patient & kind, although, I thought I am beginning to sound like a 56 yr old soprano choirboy! Not a 56 yr old woman who has worked hard on tolerance, ignorance, and mean & nasty comments of others!!!
    And, BTW, I love your writing style & I think People with PD can see into other’s souls through their artistic expression! Other days, I think, ” my life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue…” (Carole King album Tapestry)…
    Bye, S.A.

    Liked by 1 person

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