As I get older, not OLD but older 😉 I find it fascinating how life really truly starts to repeat itself based on the choices and direction we walk or allow ourselves to follow. As I embark on this newest of journeys in my life I watch as road marks of time pass and as I leap fences never leapt before I realize now more than ever that change is hard and I think harder still as one grows and becomes more self aware. For as I’ve grown and become more cognizant of my past action and mistakes I’m also more aware of what lay ahead and I ponder which path has the least resistance in this new life.
Everyday I live with fear. During a conversation the other afternoon I verbally expressed those fear(s) and I must admit it was a bit freeing. To admit ones deepest demons and not be judged or “told” what to do. Sometimes or rather it’s always nice to simply be heard,felt and understood.
“There be Dragons”
Things here in my world have become so very increasingly stressful, but for all the right reasons, mostly. Making the decision to move back into a ” proper” home is a big step in healing and growing for me. It’s a step in continuing on with a positive, nurturing lifestyle, one that’s based upon mutual love,trust and communication. Over the last year I’ve learned how talk truly from my heart. I’ve accepted the fact that I have guilt and fear in my life and I’m learning how to express those feelings in a productive nature. Daily I’m still learning how to simply just live. Live with this unrelenting bitch of a mistress A.K.A Parkinson’s disease. Learning how to accept love and listen.. Right shocking! A male who’s learning to actually listen..weird I know 😉 but I’m trying.
Okay well it’s now 3-13-15 I started this post a number of days ago so I figure I should “post” before all of this loses it’s relevance in the world. Good news is I painted today for the first time in weeks. YAY!!
Please remember to be kind to each other for if not you then who?
“A life in progress”