Started 3-6-15 ~
Each day I struggle to find words to express myself in a way that truly reflects the emotional content of my work. The thoughts, trials, burdens and joys that go into each painting I do. Often I find simply expressing how I feel in verbal form gets complicated and misinterpreted as my Parkinson’s steals my ability to hear my own tone and voice inflection. Or the social awkwardness as my face doesn’t often express the emotion I’m feeling at the time. “Smile and wave, just smile and wave” lol. Echoes through my head all day.
I’ve been out of town for a day plus visiting friends and looking for a new place to live. I’ve decided to carry on with the life I want the very best I know how these days. Soon I’ll be classified as “fully disabled” on April fools day here in the states 01-04-2015 lol. Ironic isn’t it.
Two days of random life stuff, a few more good pictures and some great memories but still no paint 😦 honestly I’m not motivated to paint here in this space anymore. It feels tainted in an odd way. Though many great things happened whilst living here, I feel done with down town. It’s time to put my “Big Boy” pants back on and put Humpty Dumpty back together. Being the human I am as my time with the paint takes a rest my desire to write starts to churn again. I’ve been thinking very seriously about writing “That book” everybody has been telling me for years to write. Who knows what I’ll do, honestly my partner and best friend and I have some much life to experience together that I’m not worried I’ll run short of inspiration for this lifetime and many others.
“Each day I love you more”
Well truthfully if I don’t post this now it’ll never happen so I’ll leave you with a few my thoughts. Live the life you want while you can, it’s in life’s nature to change so cherish each moment for next may and will bring change. Take the advice of those who love you unconditionally and love the ones you do with everything you are and ever wanted to be for it maybe your love that fills their cracks like no other.
As always, “be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have.”