Another day…Another life….

It’s funny the expectations we put on ourselves at times. These feelings of completion we assign certain tasks or events. Well the Something Red show has come and gone. Sadly I didn’t even get an honorable mention. I’m kind of not sure how I feel about that.
I really shouldn’t be bothered, I know I’m a successful artists based on the feedback I get daily from people yet to not even get mentioned after winning last year is kind of a let down. Though I’m not sure where my feelings rest. If I’m disappointed in myself for not trying harder or somehow knowing the type if art that would be “successful” this year or not. I guess it’s normal to feel disappointed. Anyhow that’s that thanks for listening to me bitch about my life lol. Really I’m thankful, very thankful just to be able to walk and still hold a fork, feed myself and recognize my love ones faces. These to me seem like more important things.

Yesterday I posted this piece as a work in progress “untitled” today I’ve her name came to me.
Another Love

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Another Love
Work in progress
And some close ups so that you may see what I see.

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#1

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#2

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#3

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#4
This summer after a series of unfortunate events I learned a hard lesson in life at least hard for me. I learned that no matter how much you love someone you can never make them love you, that love that one gives doesn’t always come back to us in the way we hoped or in the way we hoped to give it. Just as my travels where coming to and end this September and as my life became more overwhelming than it has ever been. I have up. I broke. I truly believed that I’d become unloveable and unworthy of love. Then as life often does it gave me a gift a rough unpolished gift of connection, pure, natural connection. I’m happier now than I’ve been in a while and I’ve started to realize that I am worthy of love still. That I’m not the sum of my demons but the man that has survived them. If you’d like to see the first “Love” please follow the link. http://theeclecticpoet.com/2014/03/01/love-lives-here-now/
Well my friend it’s time for med and a nap. I’m currently working without a Parkinson’s Advocate which has me a bit unsettled I’ve learned from my passed mistakes that not all families and friend can handle the burden of Parkinson’s disease so in this new life I’m really trying to not burden my life upon others. Makes life pretty damn tricky.
Another day then…

Much love and light.
Benjamin
“A life in progress”
2014

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14 thoughts on “Another day…Another life….

  1. I think there are plenty of friends and families that can handle the burdens of Parkinson’s, but the communication has to be there. If the friends feel alone, shut out, then they’re likely to walk away, feeling that their efforts are not appreciated, or recognized. Communication is key.

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  2. Ah… was just thinking from the pic in your last post that you were looking… erm… younger(?) than I ever remember… This new life is looking good on you, dear friend.
    Oh – and just know you could NEVER be a burden! {{{Hugs}}} (from both) xx

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  3. It’s a very hard lesson to learn, that someone whom you love and cannot remove from your heart does not return that love despite their stance on it in the past. It makes you feel so desperate sometimes as if your soul is being scratched, don’t know how else to describe it. Only time dulls such things but it’s been my experience that to keep putting attention on what happened or even the person themselves only makes the wounds rawer. Human love is a capricious thing, it rarely lasts a lifetime and only Divine Love which is an entirely different and stronger and deeper emotion is eternal. I find that a great comfort. All my best wishes to you my friend, my prayers are for a much kinder 2015 for us all.

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    • My dear friend your words always ring so true. I thank you for your inight and wisdom. Human love, “capricious” made me smile, yes it is!
      I hope the day bring great joy and kindness to you and yours.
      Always,
      Benjamin.

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  4. Now I know that I’m biased because I think the absolute world of you and your art but you definitely, definitely deserved an honorable mention at least (more in my opinion) for the artworks that you’ve turned out this year. I don’t think that’s on you not being good enough at all, I think the mistake is on them.

    And I’m glad that you’ve realized that you’re loveable because there are many people who think you are an incredibly special human being, worthy of all of the love in the world. We all have our demons, but not all of us have the heart and strength that you do to contrast and combat them.

    Big hugs
    -Katie
    xx

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  5. Yes, it is a fact, we cannot get what we want cent per cent. But we have to live it all and move on in our lives thinking that what we got under the circumstances is our premium and sure enough the other part would be compensated by our gracious Lord.

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