2 days……

Sometimes when I wake in the middle of the night I wonder what happened. What happened that would cause my life to change so drastically. Then the stiffness sets in and the tremors come into focus. Or I stand up and instantly lose my balance.
Then I remember four years ago waking up feeling like is been hit by a truck and wondering what the hell was wrong with. I remember a dozen MRI’s and the fear of not knowing and then the numbness and quiet scream in my head when the Dr. Said “You have Parkinson’s Disease. I remember how you cried and I talked about how I would make homemade chicken Alfredo and everything would be okay.
I was wrong….everything wouldn’t be okay. Little did I know this disease would run rampant through my body and mind. Then it would slowly destroy the family. I thought I knew, making words like for better or worse meaningless in the face of this ever present and ever changing monster.
Here is some shocking information statistically speaking 85% of the marriages end when one of the partners gets Parkinson’s Disease. That’s pretty shocking but sadly I understand. So what’s the point of this post? Get help, use all the resources you can and don’t think for a second that you can do it alone. People aren’t wired to deal with chronic illness. We expect people to go to the doctor and get fixed or simply die. Unfortunately for those of us with progressive un-curable diseases that never going to happen. So again… Find support as needed and never be to proud to say what you feel and need. Tomorrow I’ll go hang the show:

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And Monday I’ll move to my new place. I’ll try to stay in touch the best I can and if anyone cares to chat, find me on Skype, FB or Twitter. I’ll be without internet for a while but I have a magic phone with unlimited data. So I’ll pop in and send pics of the new living place and studio as I can. Thankful I have a great Parkinson’s advocate and a few people in my physical life that are here to help.

As always be Brave, be Bold and Thrive in the life you have…You never know when it may change.
Namaste
Benjamin
2014.

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18 thoughts on “2 days……

      • Oh, wow, that would be so great, Ben. We should be around all of August – and it would be wonderful to see you again. Come and stay here, if you want. Meanwhile, best of luck with your move on Monday; I shall be following your progress on Twitter – and thinking of you. xxx

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  1. I will never forget the first time I came across your blog Benjamin… and the story you reference here… the moment you were informed of your diagnosis, the inner strength you conjured to soothe yourself, and your wife… your instant focus on moving your psyche to a better place: your plan to go home and prepare Chicken Alfredo; Well, to be honest, I was moved to tears, and was certain you were a very special soul from that moment on.
    Blessings and Love as you move forward. Stay STRONG!
    I have tremendous and unyielding faith in you… x RL

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    • Your words of encouragement through the years Mrs R have been a true source of balance and peace for me and thank you just never seems enough. Bit from the bottom of my heart and soul Thank you so so much

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  2. I am so very sorry, Benjamin! As a Bipolar Aspie in an Aspie marriage which have a high rate of divorce, I know that 25 married years together is no guarantee. Especially as more and more physical problems arise. But enough. Wishing you will find a special place of happiness in your new home and new life. Some corner of joy and peace!! Hugs, Ellen

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