All of my days…

Such tender light spreads her wings across my wounded heart.
A smile. A true gift in these darkest of days.
For a force unseen now controls the movements that surround me.
Fear and uncertainty have gripped my hearts and play a sad song. A tune I’d not seen coming nor thought I’d hear again in this life.
How can it be that the desire to paint and write could cause such destruction….?
Wandering these next few day in limbo, will life grant me a fresh start as now it has seen fit to take away all that I know.
I would never chose to leave, never chose to spread these wings and fly so far from the things I’ve come to call home.. Though it seems the choice has been made for me.. Against me it feels… No dialect or discourse… Just bitter words and silent ears…. Compassion has long since left the table…..
I fear in these later days of my life what will become of me as this body fails me more and more each day. Where shall I rest my head. These are not the times nor age to common play as a younger man from couch to couch and spare room to stay.
I’ve grown tired of the fighting the backward assumptions and misread thoughts… My demons call to me so strongly as I fight to keep them at bay, the old ways of a sharpened tongue and immovable stone.
Such broken heart sorrow as my seed half grown ponders why…..
Tears, tears flow cleansing and clearing…
Tired…so tired… If I was a lesser man I’d find the short end of a long rope and join those I’ve missed for years..
But I’m not done just yet…..

I say these words now so that they may be said and write them so that I may read them and be reminded of what they truly mean. Please remember to always.
Be brave, Be bold and Thrive in the life you have..

Benjamin.
2014.
A guess all of my days and all that come after was a far shorter time than expected.

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17 thoughts on “All of my days…

  1. Dearest B… I feel your words so deep… the journey that your going through is a tough road for sure Hun but please know that you are loved and admired (be it from afar) through your beautiful words and paint my friend!!! I’m so sorry that you and yours are going through this and will be keeping you in my prayers! xoxox

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Benjamin, hugs to you. I am so sorry for your pain. but you have much to do. YOU are an inspiration to us all, you know 🙂 keep writing and keep painting we love what you do 🙂
    Kimberly Rae

    Like

    • Thank you my friend. These changing times are most unexpected and hard to deal with. But I’m trying to raise above the negative and find peace in knowing there must be a higher purpose in this life.

      Like

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