There are so many times in life where we simply don’t have control and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. Cars crash, loved one pass. People change and grow apart. Life has a funny way when it comes to the way it ebbs and flows.
On that note I have some very sad and upsetting news to share. As many of you know in 2011 after about a year of seeing doctors I was diagnosed with young onset Parkinson’s disease. I worked on and off at my “normal job” for as long as I could until it was clear between the side effects of the medication and the progression of the disease that I would no longer be able to be satisfactory at my job. I then made arrangements to retire. In my down time and absences from work I began painting at a feverish pace desperately searching to reclaim something that was “me” the old me that I had to put in the closet in order to raise a family as I thought they should be raised, steady income, house,wife, car and cats. In my search to be reborn I began to discover who I am at the core of my being. I’m a giver a gentleman a warrior and poetish painter. The same man I was when I started painting 37 years ago. Yes I’m old (ish) 43 currently. Over the course of the past 3 years my Parkinson’s and my personal life has changed a great deal some for the better and some not so much. Over the course of those three years my relationship with M has suffered a great deal and as to not make my entire personal life a matter of public information I’ll keep the details out. I will say to M. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be more aware of the changes happening a they happened or change the direction. I’m sorry that our paths grew apart . But they did. You showed amazing control as you delivered the bad news to me and for that I’ll be forever thankful. And for those of you reading this if you haven’t caught on yes M and I are separating. In life and in marriage not all things grow and change in the same direction and we as a couple have reached a very sad and hurtful point one that I wouldn’t wish on any couple. The point where you love but no longer like or respect your partner.
I will keep painting, writing and posting it is at this point the only solid thing I have to hold on to. That being said I’m going to dry my tears and do my best to do what I ask all of you so often to do.
Be brave, be bold and thrive in the life you have.
A life in progress