Page 1. A new chapter

The words you are going to read are not soft, they bite and have teeth that leave marks for the world to see.
It’s been said I’ve changed… So I have bing told you have an incurable progressive neurological disorder has that effect on people. Have I changed for the better or worse??? I guess that depends on whom you speak with. To those of you whom wish to reach me you should know how. Remember live you life with passion. Try hard and harder to follow your dreams and desires be true to yourself and those around you and with any luck you’ll leave this world a better place than before you were here.
B~xx

A darkness has found me….
I’ve run from it for so long.
But it knows my name and there
Can be no hiding from it’s truth
Anymore.
The words were spoken and like many things in this life once said can not be unsaid for even should they morph and change the damage has been done.
There are two things I’ve wanted since I was a young boy coming from a broken home. One was to be a great artist in the same way I saw my father. Two was to have a stable life. A family and with that family never let them feel the pains of divorce and those feelings that come
From a broken home. Lord knows I’ve lived through to much of that in my life.
Well I have failed… I have failed myself, my son and the ideas in which I set forth so any years ago.
Now I sit with a heavier heart than I’ve ever known and ponder my next path. Life is funny the dream of becoming an artist came with a heavy price tag. Parkinson’s disease. DX at 41 living with they say since probably my early 30’s. And now it seems the universe is here to test my resolve again and it has chosen to take my family from me as well. So again I sit and I ponder what does this life mean and why am I here. Why is the cost of wanting to be happy so high?? I fear I know not where the light is any more. They have been taken from me. So like a child in the darkness of his own shadow I search the morning sky for answers. Why and what, where. Now of my dreams in this mortal life I’ve only the one left. Tears…… Fall like the spring rains washing away the pain and guilt. And I have nothing more to say….
Please remember after I’m gone. To
Be Brave, Be Bold and Thrive in the life you have. You never know when it will change.

Benjamin M Prewitt
A life in progress.

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27 thoughts on “Page 1. A new chapter

  1. My dear darling friend… wipes away any tears and hugs you tight! Life can be strange at times indeed… leaving us feeling the way you describe…. here for you to lean ok always xox

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    • Thank you Sir. Life is heartbreaking right now and I feel a fool expressing such change and loss in this venue but as I’ve no physical outlet in my real life I turn to the only place I know. I’m not sure where I’ll be or how I’ll be there as the details of this sudden change has not been further discussed. I grieve more for my son than I grieve for my loss. I’ve lost everything before time and time again. Life has a habit of doing that with me more times than I care to recount. Again many thanks for your kindness and sincerity.
      Always
      Benjamin

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  2. Hugging you in my heart, dear friend. You are loved by many and, undoubtedly, all your friends will be on standby for you – as you walk through this dark night. I know you will emerge because I know your spirit. If there is anything I can do to further show my support, you know how to reach me. Namaste, Beautiful Soul, Namaste. S

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