Something silver, Something blue… I find myself awake and running from myself. How does one still the madness and pain that is created from an incurable progressive neurological disorder??? Well let me tell you. You can’t I would never tell another human to suck it up and stand up, take charge and get over it, Sans maybe in the battlefield, but that’s another lifetime away and a story for another day. But I would and do say it to myself daily 100’s of times a day actually:
I’m a head/heart strong Irish bastard it’s pretty simple and for some reason God , Allah, Buddha whom ever one prays to decided to give me paint and the will to live. Right at this second in time my pain is 8-9 my jaw keeps dislocating, my elbows keep locking up
My Piriformis muscle is literally chocking the life out of my sciatic never. And I don’t give a sh!t, I will not give in. In 35 years of meditation I’ve learned that sometimes you must become what you fear. Embrace it let it wash over you completely before you can rise above it. So I will be pain today, sounds strange I know and I don’t expect anyone who doesn’t live with chronic pain to understand but the endorphins released from massive pain have a euphoric quality after a while , so hence running from it does me no good. Today I will step into the wind and be one with it. Enough said. Something silver:
Thanks for letting me rant I know I must sound daft to those of you who don’t know me and I apologize for being so brash in my reality but it’s important for those who come after me to know what Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease can do. Ppl don’t talk about openly. They raise money for it, the raise awareness that it exists but nobody talks in a real voice about what it does to the body and minds of millions of young men and women. Anyhow I treasure you all so dearly and thank you for your kind words and loving embrace if I could gather you all for a giant hug I would.
Much love and light